New Class: the Hardy Yeoman

So there are some random advancement classes out there in the blogosphere that I've looked at, and I think they're neat (Zak S has several, here's the fighter; Jeff Rients has several, here's the B/X halfling; Perttu Vedenoja, alongside whom I've played in a couple online games has a sellsword; by way of examples ... there are more, I'm sure), and I thought I wanted to get in on that idea.

I was also trying to think of what kind of a character might use constitution as a prime requisite?

The Hardy Yeoman is the result of a fusion of these intents, and it is not quite like the linked d100 table classes, certainly less flashy, but more in keeping with my tastes. The future might see something different, but the present has the Hardy Yeoman, an upstanding peasant-type who's willing to leave his community for a time to deal with the forces of Chaos encroaching from beyond his family's ancient plot and fields.

"Why yes, sir, I did hear of some goblins causing trouble out
beyond the hedgerow. I was thinking of taking my shovel to them."

Without further ado:

The HARDY YEOMAN
His or her prime requisite is Constitution; 13+ grants a 5% bonus to xp earned on adventure, and 16+ grants a non-cumulative 10% xp bonus

Level 1 -- Serf -- 1d6 HD -- 0 XP
Level 2 -- Peon -- 2d6 HD -- 1500 XP
Level 3 -- Peasant -- 3d6 HD -- 3000 XP
Level 4 -- Burgher -- 4d6 HD -- 6000 XP
Level 5 -- Freeman -- 5d6 HD -- 12,000 XP
Level 6 -- Yeoman Farmer -- 6d6 -- 25,000 XP

Hardy Yeomen may advance no further than 6th level in their own class; at that level, a Hardy Yeoman may construct a freehold/homestead, attracting a spouse, 1-4 family members, and 2-7 farm hands, as well as receiving (on a d6) (1-2) a herd of 2-12 horses and pasturage, (3-4) a herd of 3-24 cattle and pasturage, or (5-6) acreage for 1-3 cash crops per season, plus subsistence.

Furthermore, a 6th level Hardy Yeoman may dual class into a class that they qualify for (and rolls of 1-4 on their ability chart automatically qualify them for the relevant class, fighter, cleric, magic-user, or thief); dual classing means they retain current hit dice and hit points, but advance from first level in the new class as far as they wish; any use of their Hardy Yeoman abilities before reaching 6th level in the new class invalidates any XP gained from the particular adventure on which that ability was used. Once the former Hardy Yeoman reaches 7th level in his or her new class, he begins to gain hit dice per the new class, and continues to gain abilities for that class.

The Hardy Yeoman fights as a Cleric and saves as a Fighter; he or she may use any weapons or armor

At first level and every level gained thereafter, the Hardy Yeoman rolls once on a d20 table; as a d20 table, the referee will probably eventually have to start changing specific abilities, but with only one or two Yeomen in a game, there shouldn't be too much overlap of abilities.

1 - was in the local fyrd/militia; rolls “to hit” as a fighter (further rolls indicate a cumulative +1 “to hit” rolls)

2 - had some trouble with the law; gains one thief ability at random

3 - had some schooling at a local shrine; may cast 1 first level cleric spell per day (even wearing armor)

4 - apprenticed to a hedge mage; may cast 1 first level magic-user spell once per day, when not wearing armor

5 - knows woodcraft; may track creatures through the wilderness

6 - hunter; may forage food for 1-6 people per day in any wilderness

7 - knows some herb lore; can recognize poisonous/beneficial herbs

8 - peasant doctor; one patient under care regains double the usual hp from a full day of rest

9 - inheritance; receive a monthly income of 10-60 gold

10 - peasant religion; leave 10+ gold as an offering at shrines to a place-god/land-elf/nature-spirit/etc. for a chance to receive a blessing

11 - green thumb; preternaturally good at gardening and growing things

12 - smells oncoming rain; can predict the weather

13 - brewer/brewster; can brew one batch of profitable beer/mead/etc. per month, given necessary resources--even IPAs and weird-tasting sours can find a niche market

14 - horse-sense; +1 reaction rolls with animals

15 - sturdy stock; +1-3 hit points

16 - sturdy stock; +1 on all saves

17 - handyman - can perform general maintenance on almost anything

18 - cheesemaker; can produce one profitable cheese per month, following the local monastary's recipe

19 - blood is thicker than water; your kinfolk are spread through many realms, and all will treat even distant cousins as one of the family (by providing provender, a place to stay, advocacy under the law, or even help breaking you out of jail … kin may be called on 2-5 times before they think you're some kind of black sheep or Took and won't have more to do with you)

20 - royal decree favoring archery over football; you're a bowyer and a fletcher, and receive +1 “to hit” with bows, slings, etc.

"I'd rather be playing football on the village green ..."

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 5

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...

...

and Kaaraak the Eagle speaks to the Elves in the party of the Eyries of the Eagles ...

tonight's roster:
Eden Littlethorpe (halfling druid 1, name pronounced "e-DEN"; also, brother of Enzo Littlethorpe of Galtshire, an as yet little known halfling artist who's greatest work so far is an intriguing image of the lizardman eye-licking ritual of homage)
Foz (free goblin 1, has been to the Glimmervaults once before)
with Proz (a boar hound dressed in armor)
Okuda (bushi 1, bushi being from the Oriental Adventures book)
with Shield (another boar hound pet in armor)
Roland (dwarf cleric 1, got a spell at first level because of AD&D)


As noted above, the party acquired two dogs while also acquiring equipment (Eden and Roland needing to equip themselves as newly minted characters).

They decided to head for the Glimmervaults, because Foz had been there before (and had acquired a musty old map, apparently, from some other adventurers from years before, which indicated the presence of great treasure behind a "fire tornado of doom" as the map seemed to indicate).

Nothing molested them on the way there; there are two entrances to the Glimmervaults, an eastern entrance higher on the slope, with myriad humanoid heads on spears outside the doorway--and Foz spied rather more heads than before, many of the new ones being orc heads; and a western entrance through a natural stone grotto that leads into a kind of cave network.

There was some confusion as to which entrance the party was using, some electing for orcs, others saying the western entrance, and because I started describing the cave features, that's where the party ultimately ended up. They passed through several chambers and corridors already familiar to Foz (behind a secret door in a flowstone formation), and went to check doors left unchecked on that previous expedition.

In the room with the several defaced statues and the plaque on the wall reading a curse, "Galad's tribe is destroyed root and branch ... may this place be accursed," the party was surprised by ... a wandering troupe of cave locusts. These semi-docile creatures were startled by a thrown rock and started leaping every which way in their panic, and one struck Roland, but his stolid dwarfness allowed him to just shove off the large locust without injury. Beyond that, the creatures simply retreated back up the corridors.

This, but giant-sized ... like labrador dog sized

Continuing on, the party first opened an eastern door, which led into a semi-long east-zagging corridor with two southern doors and a dead end to the south east.

Behind the first door, the party found three sarcophagi, labeled ALDARES, GALADON, and BALEARES. Inside the first sarcophagus (ALDARES), which they had to unseal by prying plaster away with a dagger, the group found a gold torc, a ring, and a nice chain of office. When they opened the second tomb, however, marked GALADON, they got only a glimpse of a gold deathmask, inlaid with wonderful jewelry, before a second horde of locusts burst through the door, creaking and sawing and making a great din. Because of the danger from their leaping all around and running into things, the party fled back into the corridor and further along.

The next door opened onto another tomb, this one labeled HORUS, a great sarcophagus dominating the room's center and decorated with carvings on every side, all of battles against phalanxes of spearmen, war elephants, and chariots. Inside, the group found a pair of scrimshawed elephant tusks with further images of battle.

This is the Tomb of Maria Theresa of Austria and her husband,
Francis I Holy Roman Emperor; this image doesn't really do justice to the grandiosity
of the thing, which as I recall depicts a naval battle on one side
(on my sojourn in the Imperial Crypts); anyway, Horus' sarcophagus is like this

In another tomb leading off the chamber with the defaced statues, the party also discovered walls depicting a gathering of semi-barbarous Getae under their kings, one crowned with red, the other with black; while on the other wall was a bas-relief of Brondr, first Bronding King, being acclaimed by being lifted on a shield by the people, wearing a white crown.

In the dead end corridor, the party found a secret door leading back out into a cave system; Foz, sticking his head out first, saw a half a dozen figures passing by in darkness beyond, and quickly hushed the party and dimmed their light; after some conversation and waiting by the party, the figures passed silently on into the darkness north, and the way was clear. Down the stairs on the other side of the door, the party discovered an ancient stalactite/stalagmite column carved to show an Elfin male descending from a ceiling glinting with reflections like stars down toward a human female.

Several side passages included one to the south that leads to the second level of the Glimmervaults; and one to the east that breathes a colder air than even the cave is naturally heir to.

But, D&D character that he is, Foz eyed the glimmering ceiling and took up a rope, and climbed the column Mulan-style.

Especially when you have an 87% climb skill as a thief,
+10% because the referee likes your idea

From the top of the column, he managed to pry out from the ceiling several of what were indeed ultimately gemstones, cut to reflect light and seem like stars. With these pieces of loot in hand, Foz suggested a return to town, and the party agreed--they seemed to have gathered enough loot.

On the way back, they stopped to pick up the elephant tusks (they'd left them behind as fragile things, meaning to return to pick them up), and listening to the door from that tomb, they heard a horrible skittering of insectile legs. Out of an abundance of prudence, the party waited; listened again; heard nothing, and found the corridor beyond empty. But at the next door, to the statue-room, they heard the same creepy skittering. This time they braced the door as they waited, and briefly felt pressure from inside attempting to get out; but this subsided, and the party retreated to another tomb to wait. When they returned back that way, heading again for the entrance/exit, the source of the weird skittering was gone.

Beyond that, the way back out and back to town was free and clear (again, no wilderness encounters, alas).

The party did manage to find a merchant especially interested in artefacts from the Glimmervaults. He bought the tusks and a signet ring for far more than their market value, and furthermore offered a bounty, collectible by anyone, for rubbings or drawings of the battle-tomb of Horus, some hundred to several thousand gold, depending on the quality of the product returned. His name is Kors Langbard (he's also a little bit racist against short people like halflings, goblins, dwarves, etc).

Lastly, the party must needs go carousing! At the newly established local drinking hole, the Black Dragon's Meed, Roland spent exorbitantly and hit on a woman at the bar, only to find too late that she was in fact a witch--fortunately for Roland, the hex she attempted to curse him with failed to affect him. Eden got into a bit of a scuffle with the law, and ended up having to pay a small fine for attempting to free a tree from the confines of downtown back to its true home in the woods; and poor Foz, well, he fell in love with a brief romantic dalliance--one Rosy Nettlebrer, a halfling woman already engaged to an upstanding halfling from Hopshire.


And thus ends a prudent adventure, well rewarded for caution.

Wilderness Encounters as Attrition

Earlier this month, as I was contemplating running a public game focused on the dungeon, I was wondering how best to deal with the wilderness. For myself, though I'm glad to play in them, I have a tough time wanting to run a game in which the dungeon is right there in town (like Jeff Rients' Vyzor; or my own local friend's dungeon, the entrance to which is in the inn's basement). I have my own idiom, into which I've fallen every time I've started a new group--a long north-south corridor, bounded to west and east by mountains, with wilderness over the eastern mountains, and civilization back over the western mountains. The dungeon is near--not more than a week away--but still must lie somewhere in the eastern mountains, on the border between civilization's final frontier, and the beginning of the true wilderlands.

(and the drive in Idaho, between the poles of Boise and Moscow, definitely exerts a kind of of influence over this vision)

It's surprisingly hard to find Google images of the mountains rising on
either side, which is much of what one sees on the north-south drive
through Idaho; my D&D games have wider valleys, but a similar bifurcation

I use this both as a means of separation (the characters still must travel away from civilization to find adventure), and as a means to make sure time passes in-game (the local game run by my friend has maybe progressed a couple weeks, and we've been playing for months; for me, if I were refereeing, that would feel stultifying, in that I like a session to be a week at minimum, but his game is his game).

But if the game is dungeon-focused, wilderness encounters will draw attention away from that dungeon. Case-in-point, during the last session of the Greyhame Mountain Dungeon that I ran, perhaps a quarter of the session was spent just dealing with an orc warband encountered on the way to the dungeon. It wasn't a bad encounter (actually, the players took it quite in stride and shone in it); nevertheless, it took a lot of time that might have been differently spent inside the dungeon.

(and just for the record, that encounter occurred because I couldn't remember these very "attrition" rules I'd tried to formulate, and it was easier to just do a monster encounter; and yet for the dungeon-game, it could have been quicker into the dungeon if I'd had my "attrition" notes before me).


So:
When I roll for encounters, I roll 3d6, one black, one white, one red:
black -- encounter chance
white -- party surprise chance
red -- monster surprise chance

I ignore the red and white dice if black comes up nothing.

For attrition in the wilderness, rather than rolling up a full encounter on a positive result from the black die, I look to the other dice:
If the red die comes up 1 or 2, there is still no encounter/attrition, because the "monster/encounter" was "surprised" by the party, and they can avoid it.
But the white die determines "attrition dice" inversely to the number rolled on the die, e.g. 1 is 6d6, 2 is 5d6, 3 is 4d6, 4 is 3d6, etc.

An "attrition die" is 1d6 of damage allocated to one party member, by lot or by choice. In any singular "encounter", an "attrition die" may be negated by breaking 1 shield, 1 suit of armor, 1 weapon, by losing 1 week of rations, or by expending 1 dozen ammunition (arrows, bolts, bullets, etc. via the commensurate missile weapon, e.g. bow, crossbow, sling), but no negation may be duplicated (i.e. once a shield is broken, no other shields may be used to negate "attrition dice" in a given "encounter").

You may note that a roll of 1 on the white die (6d6 "attrition") creates an absolute necessity of 1d6 damage somewhere in the party, volunteered or by lot (because a maximum of 5d6 "attrition" can be negated in any one "encounter"). I could further add that this damage may not be cured by clerics during the course of an adventure, representing instead of wounds, fatigue, starvation, mild disease, or what have you--or perhaps not, if I don't feel inclined.

I envision this option as a means to resolve wilderness encounters quickly, yet without simply bypassing the fact that the D&D wilderness can be dangerous. Stakes remain, even up to damage to characters or the possible destruction of equipment. And yet, the game will be allowed to move quickly to the dungeon that is its real focus without dwelling overlong on the wilderness chance encounter.

Given the abstraction, I wouldn't use rules like this at a "regular" game, where I would much rather just run a wilderness encounter as-is, and let the consequences be what they may. But games like that imply a continuity that extends beyond the dungeon; whereas if your pick-up game relies on getting to the dungeon--but wants to touch on the danger of the wilderness--"attrition" could be a fast way to convey that.

All said, you could just start the game "at the dungeon". I just ... still want the travel time, and the possibility of some minor disaster. And this is my rough draft for an "in-between" version.

Play Report from Jesse Goldshear's Vymrrys

"Laurantha to Xanthos--a Missive

Xanthos, my companion-in-arms, I thought you might find record of a certain strange incident amusing. This is my account:

Out of some curiosity as to what lay along the Dreaming River alongside the environs of the strange Vaults of Vyzor, I chartered a small boat from one Stonk, a dock-troll, and let myself wander the water, river-rat style.

I soon found myself drowsy and dreaming ... and when I awakened from said strange dreams, found myself in the midst of a great desert city on the coast of a vast ocean, with the docks hemmed in by the city walls, thus to form a strong breakwater and means of defense against outside attack. ((This being Jesse Goldshear's Vymrrys, from the "Smash the Dungeon" blog))

Wandering somewhat into this strange city out of curiosity, I happened upon a drug den from whence I heard certain familiar voices--those of Ilse Sleet-ne-Raagenkompf, and of Sapphean Grachit. Entering this establishment, named appropriately the Myopic Myconid, I found it run by ten clones of an identical Fungus-man; and as for the voices, there indeed were Ilse and Sapphean, with whom I have adventured in the vaults of Vyzor. They were accompanied by individuals unknown to me, but presently introduced, one Taimo (an "honorable" thief), and ultimately one Magic Meryl (a fellow Vyzorian, whose repute has preceded her to my ears, though this was the first true meeting between us). With Meryl were her companions Pitwin, a mournful gnomish child, and Arthur, a dungeon terrier.

Before introductions were quite complete, we heard a banging of tamburs and of drums, and plucking of citharas, from the streets outside, and looking therein, descried a procession of Otter-folk making their way along the street with a great din from their instruments.

I felt a strong reminiscence of my old love for
Brian Jacques' Redwall series and its bad-ass otters;
I loved that there were Otter-people

My own inquiries as to the nature of this procession were met with derision by the locals, but Sapphean successfully finagled a reward of lucre from one inhabitant of the neighborhood who informed us that though these Otter-bacchanals came only twice a year, they lasted a week, and drove the neighbors nearly to madness with their incessant banging and merry-making. This strange individual (who had glass orbs for eyes) offered each of us precisely 87 gold (that being a lucky number thereabouts?) and a reading of our fortunes if we should seek out the reason for and/or attempt to stop the Otter-bacchanals.

These conditions were acceptable, and we promptly set out to follow the processing Otter-folk, and just as presently lost them further up the street. Turning down an alley in an attempt to cut them off, Taimo and myself were enthralled by a vision of the sky in which the sun and the moon were transposed many times, and which seemed clearly a result of our enjoyment of the drug den, but we were jostled along by our companions to continue the chase. Sapphean in particular had "spider climbed" a tower and seen the procession of the Otter-folk to the north east, and so we made haste in that direction.

At a crossroads, Ilse sought information from passersby, and managed by chance to ask the ringleader of a gang of thieves on the street (identified for us as a gang by Taimo's sharp eyes). This thief attempted to draw a knife on Ilse, but her quick action to step in and check his movement, and her stern words, do nothing stupid, prevented further attempt at violence. The other thieves stepped back, and Ilse's man relayed that the Otter-folk lived north of the port.

Then we continued down the streets east, through a market of myriad marvels, and further, past an alley in which we witnessed a beggar devouring a live cat, entire. In the port itself, Magic Meryl questioned a longshoreman, and learned again that the otters' enclave lay to the north, but also that sometime a few years ago, during one of their bacchanals, a friend of his had joined and disappeared forevermore.

The evening was growing late; we hit upon a plan to find an inn for ourselves, but also a tavern of longshoremen who might know rumors, and who might also have loosened tongues. And yet, before finding any such establishment, we observed a number of lights receding down an alley. An investigation found the lights receding further, and three bodies left in their wake--three Elves, each disemboweled and quite dead.

Ilse determined little about them other than that they were slain by puncturing weapons, while the rest of the party looked out, suspicious of city-watchmen. None came, and we investigated the bodies, and discovered a small amount of gold and possible drug-powders on their persons.

Then Arthur, Meryl's dog, pointed north at the same time that "spiderclimbing" Sapphean indicated lights still moving north of us, and we continued along the alley after them.

Presently, we came upon a party of three Otters, two clearly slain, the last crawling, wounded, trailing blood. Ilse found that the ground was holding the Otter-man's guts in, and that she could do nothing; Magic Meryl offered her potion of healing to the Otter to cure his ails, and as his wounds knit up, he thanked us heartily. After a moment collecting himself, this Otter informed us of a recurring war between the local Elves and Otters that flares up every bacchanal-season; these were victims of said war, caught too late outside the Otter enclave. He thanked us for our aid; we offered to escort himself and his fallen comrades back to the Otter enclave, and he heartily agreed.

We made good time and soon ended up in a dead-end courtyard, where the Otter began an exceedingly complicated series of knocks on a sandstone wall, presumably summoning his fellows beyond; unfortunately, because of the complexity and length of his signal, there was plenty of time for a party of Elves who had come up behind us to rush in and engage us.

Taimo hid in the shadows of one corner; Meryl and her henchcreatures ducked behind the other corner; and I stood brazenly in front, doffed my helm to reveal my ears, and awaited these Elves. They were hesitant at first, seeing myself; but seeing the Otter-man behind me, they crowed victory at having finally discovered the secret entrance to the Otter-enclave, and attacked.

Now, the combat was confused; but I can tell you that Ilse cast some kind of strange spell that made rain fall upward from the ground in the first instant, and seemed to do nothing else; Magic Meryl had an "unseen servant" present, which she commanded to go and flip the cloak over one of the Elves' heads; Sapphean used his presence above to surprise one of the Elves with a "magic missile" and kill the offender with a stroke to the head; and Taimo bravely leapt from the shadows to cleave the bow of an Elf who was otherwise certain to shoot myself through the middle.

As for myself, I cast a spell of "sleep" (forgetting that the Elves of other worlds are generally immune to such things, as I am not)--nevertheless, the fellow in front of me fell over, dead asleep, and I calmly slit his throat with my sword and demanded the surrender of the two remaining Elves. They surrendered; Ilse nevertheless eviscerated the fellow in front of her; and the last was tripped by his own bowstring (dropped at his feet when the bow was cleft by Taimo) when the unseen servant wrapped it around his ankles.

By this time, a strange rain of crabs with pale human hands was falling from the bizarre cloud summoned above by Ilse, and as I ran forward to seize the one living prisoner, the Otter behind us finally got a response from below and a secret door opened onto a descending stair. We all piled down the stair, doing our best to avoid the eldritch crabs, and ultimately found ourselves in a vast underground space filled with tidepools, hovels, and reveling Otter-men.

Our Otter--and now he revealed his name to us as Ottarwankenoby--agreed to lead us to his chief, and amongst the festivities we witnessed Otter-folk singing from a stage to a great crowd, all of their furs dyed with fantastic colors and patterns; and also a fountain of fish blood (it stank terribly) through which cavorted a number of nubile Otters that seemed vaguely feminine in a mustelid sense.

I definitely envisioned the Otter-folk on stage doing a Ke$ha song, e.g. "Take it Off"

Thence we entered the pavilion of the great Ottarmuspryme, the chief of the Otter-folk, reclining on a sofa and cracking clams with a stone before slurping them down. He seemed a veritable cliche of pompous barbarian chiefs--an utterly likable fellow.

This Ottarmuspryme was grateful for the return of his living subject, and also of the two dead bodies; he offered to let us carouse with the Otters and enjoy ourselves (of which offer we meant fully to take advantage); and yet, he was irritable about our report that the folks of the city were unhappy concerning the Otter-bacchanals, because of the excess noise and merriment that ensued. Indeed, he mentioned that the excesses of merriment were meant as revenge against the other races of the city because of their poor treatment of the Otter-folk! We suggested perhaps a compromise could be found, if only the Otters and the other city-folk could agree to something. Lastly, we offered up the prisoner, a poor pathetic Elf who begged for us to spare him--fool!--and he was picked up and broken upon the bench by the very Ottarmuspryme himself (whom I had not guessed capable of such a feat for his smallish size, yet relative girth).

And that was that. Already offered the enjoyment of this mammalian bacchanal, I myself enjoyed it thoroughly, and perhaps a little to bestially. Much was done that cannot be clearfully remembered. Alas! And yet, when I awoke from this drug-stupor, I found myself drifting down the Dreaming River, once again beside Stonk's dock underneath the Azure Tower of the Sorcerer of the Blue Mask.

I tell you, Xanthos, I have found myself in strange straits--the Dreaming River is no place for timid folk.

Your companion-in-arms under the Black Dragon,
Laurantha Akala"

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 4

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...

...

and Kaaraak the Eagle speaks to the Elves in the party of the Eyries of the Eagles ...

tonight's roster:

Caesar (man-ape 1, played by a fellow who has been excited about trying that class for some time)

Lead (cleric 2)

Baby-Face (thief 2, evil as of last game)

with Barth (normal man), Jimmy the Snitch and Thin-Faced Tim (wardogs)

Harambe (man-ape 1)

with Orion (lion dog, bought this session)

Unga Dunga (halfling 1)

with Valana (normal woman), Cletus the Brutalizer, Marmaduke, and Austin Dodger (dogs; Austin Dodger was a new purchase, a ghost hound)

and last minute arrivals

Rendorsheeg (Elf 1) and

Blackleaf (Elf 1)

also, the pack animals Sparkly the mule and Ramses the Great the camel

Both available dogs were bought this session (Orion the lion dog to Harambe, Austin Dodger the ghost hound to Unga Dunga); the hirelings and the special items (nightshade and fermented sleeper shark) went ignored.

I finally remembered at the session's beginning that Baby Face had insulted the son of the local lord, Morholt's son--and because vendetta has been declared, Baby Face was beaten and robbed at the beginning of the session, losing 2 hp and all of his gold. The ruffians did relate their allegiance by mentioning Morholt and how he doesn't like his son being insulted.

Also, a new inn has been half-constructed in town, the Black Dragon's Meed; at the moment it was but a drinking room (with long-term rooms still being constructed behind). The characters went to the grand opening and got the sense that this would be a place to learn rumors or buy weird things in the future, but for the moment it was just a drinking room.

The party agreed to head to the Howling Tower and prepared for the possibility of werewolves by buying silver weapons (Lead bought a brace of daggers for both man-apes at his own cost).

En marche to the Howling Tower, the party came upon a warband of orcs, freshly returned from a raid against local farming homesteads. They surprised the orcs, so I judged that the man-apes had gone forward and come back with information about their camp--and yes, the orcs were camped, hating the day and preferring to march at night.

Rendorsheeg elected to cast ventriloquism, and sought to start a fight between the orcs a la Gandalf inciting the mutual ire of the trolls in The Hobbit. He spoke an insult, offering that the lead orc ought to fight the rest because he could "take them". I rolled a "12" on reactions, so the other orcs responded as if the leader had actually spoken; I then rolled a second reactions roll to see how the leader responded, and also rolled a "12"--and "12" is supposed to represent something "good" for the characters is how I read it. So exactly what the characters intended happened--the orcs fell among themselves, fighting each other, and killed about half their own number, alluding to a civil war possibly fought among the orc tribe/s back in the Glimmervaults.

A second ventriloquism attempt to get the surviving orcs to fight each other failed, but a volley of arrows was sufficient to send them fleeing in panic. The party then freed the orcs' three prisoners and liberated the loot for themselves. Rendorsheeg attempted to hire on of the three farmers into his service (Conan, as opposed to Diarmid and Kjartan, as the three were named), but he was too eager to get back to his own homestead to take care of the damage and salvage what they could.

Before they headed out, however, someone let slip the name "Morholt", and one of the farmers looked at Baby Face. I recognize you, he said, and good on you for insulting that fop, Morholt's son, whatever his name is. I hate him; I hate his father; Morholt is a usurper, and I've heard that he's got our dead lord's wife sequestered in a tower in his castle. After that the former prisoners head back to civilization, while the adventurers continue on toward the Howling Tower.

As for the Howling Tower, it stands atop the main spur that comes down from Greyhame Mountain. It is barely above the timberline, with scraggling pine trees around it; and itself, it is an ancient square tower, once a strong place for the Getae, the forest-men who anciently allied themselves with the Elves of the Dwimmerholt, and were driven forth when the Brondings came down from the north.

Nothing more molested the party on their approach to the tower, and they climbed the short stair to its entrance door ... inside they turned immediately north. Inside that room, they heard a rumbling voice speaking to itself in Goblin and the panting of dogs. Opening it, they found a room with a large fur-wrapped figure flanked by two wolves, huddling before a fire. Who goes there? the figure boomed in Goblin.

The new groundskeeper, one of the party members came up with. A high reactions roll gave him the benefit of the doubt (though one doubts much grounds to be kept around the tower). The large figure seemed to be blind, with milky white eyes; the party dithered for a while, and finally managed to offer a sleep apple to him, and as he ate of it, he fell asleep. The two wolves, meanwhile, kept a close watch and with hackles raised kept their master safe by accepting rations from Baby Face and an orc head from Rendorsheeg (retreating to chew at the orc head as if it were a peanut butter toy, but by "peanut butter" one understands "brains"); as they ate of these things, the party made off with a nice tiger pelt from the blind Begor's collection (yeah, the blind figure's name is Begor), and also with Begor's bag (some 1000 gp!)

(There was a conversation before Begor slept which included the information that both the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves lived below and the party also learned Begor's name, and that's he's a very grumpy dude)

Continuing on, the party found a larder (cheese, skinned animals, wine casks), and a room with a hutch for rats. Rendorsheeg made the mistake of sticking his hands into the rat hutch and taking 1 damage as they bit him--and having only 1 hp, he fell unconscious, and Lead had to use his cure light wounds spell to revive the unlucky Elf.

Thereafter, the party surprised a group of goblins in their room, who panicked after the party's dogs ripped several apart--and the goblins were thereafter tied up with Unga Dunga's rope.

Another room later, the party slaughtered more goblins, again mostly using their dogs, who tore the poor creatures apart like dogs tear dolls apart. These two battles were brutal for the poor goblins. This room included a stair down to the second level (and I forgot to give xp for finding the stair down, crap!)

Down the stair, the party finds many doors. A figure stands at the end of the southern corridor in a T; the party finds it to be a statue like the Venus de Milo but of an Elf-Queen badly defaced and graffitied in Goblin. Of the doors, one is heard to have insectile skittering behind it, another the cracking of bones. Several doors hold completely empty tombs; but one holds 6 pallid corpse-things with long tongues and yellow teeth that attack the party.

Like this, except the image is labeled "ASTORA"
(Elf-queen of beauty and youth), and is of an Elf-woman,
and her head is knocked off, and Goblin anarchy symbols
are painted on it

Lead turns undead and with a prayer (but without a holy symbol, so I reduced the HD affected by 2) turns 4 of the 6; the other two are attacked by the party. In the melee, Harambe ends up in a weird death embrace, paralyzed while wrestling one of the creatures to death, while Caesar was paralyzed in general melee; but the last creature was destroyed before it could inflict much damage.

The party looted the room under Lead's continuing prayer to the Chaotic and Good gods, and then checked out one other tomb (Lead, throwing open a tomb, saved successfully against the poison needle that pricked his finger). Then they all decided it was time to leave the dungeon.

On the first level, they went to retrieve the tied-up goblins and were accosted by more goblins. This resulted in a short battle that ended up destroying the goblin newcomers. Then the party still had to move through Begor's room to get back to the dungeon entrance, and managed to talk their way through.

Ultimately, back at town, pretty much everyone caroused. Baby Face found himself in debt to the thieves' guild; as did Caesar the man-ape; Lead fell for his amorous dalliance, and was disappointed to learn that she is already married; and Unga Dunga found himself addicted to lotus powder after his first serious try with its euphoria.

As for the goblins hauled back to town, Lead happened to hear "slavery" mentioned a couple times and preempted the party from selling the poor 8 goblin prisoners by remanding them to his own Good shrine, hoping to make them Good. We have yet to see what good this effort yields ...

Play Report from Jeff Rient's Vaults of Vyzor

"Laurantha to the Sorcerer of the Azure Mask--A Missive

O! puissant one, I, Laurantha the Unbeautiful, have returned from an expedition into the Azure Vaults, armed with new information about Elexus Starchild, and with one of the servants of the dreaded Elf-King in hand. This is my account:

In company of four faithful allies--namely, Sneakerly Trull, Snaphean Gratchit, and Sigismond Flegelschneckel, as well as my sometime companion Jimmy Neckbeard--we descended into the vaults beneath the Azure Tower. Through my perusal of the maps of previous expeditions, I expected to find stairs down to the second level of the vault through certain eastern doors on the first level, in a large chamber with two of the Elf-King's agonizer cages. And thus we did; but entering the large agonizer chamber, we beheld two beholders, emaciated and miserable-seeming in the larger cage (the other was empty).

Sneakerly took the initiative to negotiate with these erstwhile fearsome beasts; they, being half-starved, readily agreed to call out to us in warning if any danger came a-stalking up behind us, and in return, we would feed them the remains of certain carrion crawlers rotting in a nearby chamber. Though not exactly enthused about the nature of this dish, they nevertheless agreed--much to our aid further on!

The stairs were as I recalled them to be from the previous maps; at their foot opened an ancient library, all a-mess and haunted by a ghostly librarian. When I approached the desk and rang the bell, this spiritual custodian obligingly appeared, and led me by my request to the special history section. There, I perused many works, and was able to glean two things concerning our foe: firstly, that the ancient Elf-Druid war was started when the Druids (they being non-human at the time) first taught magic to men, and that the Elves, led by the Elf-King, opposed this folly as madness (as it was, alas); secondly, that the Elf-King's most puissant servant and champion is known as the Purple Mist, which may be a single identity, or perhaps several (the writer seemed uncertain which in his use of number).

Meanwhile, as I researched, Sigismond sought out works on trichology, hoping for a remedy for his hairlessness. It was just as Sigismond finished copying an alchemical recipe, and I my notes on the Elf-King's history, that we heard a great shout and alarum from up the stairs behind us: 'Beware the shadows!'

Thanks to this timely alarum by the beholders above, we were able to escape quickly into the corridors beyond the library and slip away down a side corridor. There, we heard a deep rumbling snore; Sneakerly declared that sleeping giants generally meant nearby treasure, and the party agreed in hope; but when Sneakerly sought out the source of the noise, he discovered no sleeping giant, but a great brown dragon, coiled in sleep and chained to the wall in a wide upward-sloping chamber. When he returned and mouthed the warning, 'Dragon!' to us, that dolt Jimmy Neckbeard nearly wakened the thing by trudging up to gawk at it, but we dragged him back, and decided better to turn aside rather than possibly face a dragon on our way out of the vaults.

There followed a series of explorations of the rooms of the second level of the Azure Vaults. We discovered a great arena, where orcs and morloi battle horrid monstrosities; we discovered the laboratory where those horrid monstrosities are stitched together and stored in stasis, most likely by the Elf-King or his servants; and we also discovered a conference room, complete with a set of decanters bearing golden liquor which we appropriated (and sold above); and lastly, a room with a great pool entering onto a vast underground river. All of this was mapped by myself, and when I have copied it well, I will share it with yourself, o! puissant one, and with my comrades-in-arms.

Lastly, while returning from the room with the great pool, we heard a noise behind one of the many doors of the hallway; Laurantha knocked, thinking that perhaps an Elf might be mistaken for a servant of the Elf-King--but no answer. So Sigismond threw open the door, and alas, what was on the other side was indeed an Elf, but with a fireball at the ready in his gloved hands, which he cast into our midst. The fireball damaged us all, but none of our own were slain by it; and the Elf himself was also injured. He panicked and attempted to flee, but was not only seized on the buttocks by the jaws of Mozarella, Sneakerly's faithful hound, but Gary Oldman Badger also seized him in his great claws.

This Elf--a pathetic creature barely deserving that lofty appellation--wept openly as if the demons of Hell had him in their grasp, and only wept more horribly as Sneakerly suggested a great plan involving his employment as a native dissident intent on the assassination of the Elf-King and the overthrow of his oppressive regime--and wouldn't this Elf (by name of Thesarius) like to be a hero? He very much did not want to do so; in fact, what he wanted and had been intending to do was to quit the Elf-King and escape out of the dungeon, which thing we happily aided him in doing, by tying him up with slightly paralyzing carrion-crawler tentacles and hauling him out of the dungeon with us.

Now Thesarius is with us, and hopefully we can glean further information about the Elf-King from him.

Your lieutenant in the War Against the Elf-King,
Laurantha Akala”

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 3

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...


tonight's roster:
Baby Face (thief 2) with dogs and hireling:
Jimmy the Snitch (NPC lion dog)
Thin-Faced Tim (NPC armored mastiff)
and Barth (NPC normal man, plate armored, everyone kept calling him "Barf")
Harambe (man-ape 1)
Unga Dunga (halfling 1) with the other war dogs and hireling:
Marmaduke (NPC lion dog)
Cletus the Brutalizer (NPC armored mastiff, 2 hp--clearly the runt of the litter, sold unfairly as a war dog)
and Valana (NPC normal woman, mail armor, hp 1)
Lead (cleric 2)
Aria (elf 1)
Blackleaf (elf 1, a reference to Jack Chick's wonderful/awful tracts--I mean, they're awful, but in a funny way)
and Rendorsheeg (elf 1, I'm sure I spelled the Russian name wrong, showed up at the last minute)
plus the pack animals Sparkly (Lead's mule, a sparkly d12) and Ramses the Great (Unga Dunga's camel)

All the elves happen to have 1 hp, which amuses me beyond reason.


The player of Baby Face the thief showed up before everyone else, and he bought the dragon tooth that was available in town, spending 200 gp bartering for it.

Then everyone filtered in over the course of an hour or so. A couple characters were rolled (Harambe and Aria), and dogs were bought (by Unga Dunga and Baby Face--they also hired the two hirelings).

Before heading out to the dungeon, Baby Face planted his new dragon tooth on a hill near town, hoping for a new follower; alas, when the earth-born warrior sprang out of the earth, fully armed in plate armor and with a spear, he reacted violently (with a "2" reactions roll) and attacked Baby Face immediately. The party spent two rounds attacking together before they could kill him, and when all was over, his plate armor was too badly mangled by a war dog to be salvaged--but he had a shield and a spear to be looted.

Disappointed by 200 gp spent on a berserk earthborn warrior, the party considered which dungeon entrance to approach and decided on the Glimmervaults (like the last party). Nothing molested them over 3 days in the wilderness, and they arrived to the same two entrances, one to the east set with heads on pikes outside, the other, 200 feet to the west, entering a stone grotto to a cool cavern.

This party elected the eastern entrance, reasoning that orcs were sissies who were trying to scare people off with a scary display. The entrance led south into the hillside about thirty feet and opened west, southwest, and southeast into different corridors/chambers. Orcish muttering was heard to the west and southeast, so the party headed southwest.

They found a door that also had orcish muttering behind it; opening it, they found an orcish guard post with 6 orc guards. Rendorsheeg cast ventriloquism on an orc head taken from the entrance and commanded the orcs within to surrender, which they did summarily. Baby Face wanted to slit all their throats, but was admonished by the party to slit one throat to encourage "talking". He did so, and the orcs pointed to a southwestern door as the direction to their chief and his treasure.

Information well in hand, the party foolhardily decided to kill all their prisoners before taking any precautions to tie them up, and created a small scale riot after killing a second prisoner, as the last four living orcs fought against their imminent doom. They were ultimately subdued (slain), but not before drubbing Baby Face some for his murderous proclivities.

Heading through the southwest door, the party found a corridor to the north and a door to the south. Through the southern door they entered a kind of audience chamber with a great dais and a stone throne, with a shaft in the ceiling that let some light in from above and two more doors, one on the north wall, one on the south. Inspection revealed nothing more than the orcish decorations already present (more heads on spikes, etc.), but listening to the northern door resulted in the hearing of orcish voices taunting something that sounded like a bird.

The party burst into the room and found the orc chief and his bodyguards tormenting a disheveled eagle shackled to a poorly made post. A melee ensued, rather quickly resolved when Blackleaf slept five of the six orc bodyguards, while the last bodyguard and the chief were quickly slain. The chief orc was wearing a helm winged with hawk's wings and carried 6 low value gems; the 6 bodyguards each carried a wineskin of good wine (25 gp each!).

Each of the Elfin party members approached the eagle, talking to it in Elvish, giving it rations, promising it aid; through Rendorsheeg's attempt at conversation in Elvish (the eagle's answers badly accented through its beak) they learned that his name is Kaaraak, and that he serves Jaer the Windlord on the mountain above, and that Kaaraak was captured by the orcs and thence tormented due to an ancient feud between orcs and eagles. Aria the Elf promised to nurse Kaaraak back to health, and thereby gained his friendship (as he stepped onto her shoulder).

Kaaraak responded to Elvish, ignored Common and Ape, and snapped
at Orcish and Goblin; Aria the Elf eventually won him over

There was nothing else of interest in the room, other than a ring of three keys on the orc chief's belt. The first of these was used when the southern door in the throne room proved locked, and it opened onto a treasury full of silver, a scroll, a potion (which when sipped seemed to be a potion of ESP), and four more barrels of wine. The wine was strapped to the pack animals, two barrels per mule/camel.

Next, the party explored the nearest north-leading corridor and found another locked door; this opened with another key onto a room full of shackled prisoners looked after by a single orc guard. The orc immediately surrendered; but when Aria asked the eagle if the orc was familiar, and Kaaraak replied yes, he was part of the hunting party, she began to torture him. Well, he didn't appreciate that, and initiative was rolled. Combat ensued; the worst of it was merely that Aria broke her shield rather than taking a hit from the orc's fist, and then he was slain.

As to the prisoners, they included 11 humans and 9 orcs; the humans included merchants Anath and his wife Ilera; Eric and two other mercenaries under his leadership; Johann, Amish-bearded leader of 4 other farmers; and Torin, a squire who was more concerned with returning to the naiads of the Brokenbrand Falls than returning to town. The party equipped the mercenaries with looted equipment and gave the safety of the other prisoners over into their hands (and they all returned to town safely ...).

As for the 9 orcs, they were all either from a rival orc tribe (the Yellow Hands, as opposed to the Black Tooths), or seen as "traitors" who had backed another would-be chief who had been defeated. The Chaotic part of the party convinced Lead (who is Chaotic Good, and so opposed to slavery) that they would take the orcs back to town to take part in a halfway house work program, but actually just meant to sell them into slavery.

It was getting late (for the players, not the characters), so we decided to end the session, and the characters made their way back to town without being molested (my wandering monster rolls cooperated not). Unga Dunga distracted Lead with drink while the orc prisoners were sold as slaves (orcs make poor slaves, but they still made 5 gp per orc, i.e. 45 gp). All the wine and other loot was sold. Some carousing followed, but the only "mishap" was that Baby Face the thief had a religious experience and now professes himself as Evil as well as Chaotic (altogether not unsurprising given his earlier actions, and yet honestly rolled).

We shall see what the addition of Evil brings to this campaign.

On a note of local color, a new inn is under construction in the local town (Brakeridge is the town). It's base drinking room will be ready by the next session (whenever I manage to get that organized), and then drink will readily flow thereafter, I should hope. Until then ...

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 2

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads.


This time around we had three players and three NPC hirelings/pets:

Foz (free goblin 1, a fragile creature with 1 hp)
"Hap" Hama (NPC, Foz's hireling, a normal woman, plate armor, 1 hp)
Tore (half-orc fighter 1/cleric 1, also with 1 hp)
Bear (NPC mastiff, armored, a 2HD monster with 11 hp)
and, showing up just as the party reached the dungeon entrances,
Athelstan (hardy yeoman 2) with his hireling,
Johanna (NPC normal woman, plate armor, 1 hp)


The group included two "old hand" players who've played in my games over the years, and so questions about mercenaries for hire and war dogs to buy were asked in town while buying equipment; the potential dogs this week included an orc mastiff, bred and trained to fight orcs, but at 75 gp it was too expensive, and the party opted instead for the normal mastiff (still a good buy for first level characters!). They also hired Hama in town because she was already equipped with plate armor (though leery at the prospect of accompanying a goblin and a half-orc, she accepted their offered rate of 7 gp per week, a little above what she would have personally asked for).

Foz and Tore didn't debate long on which of the three entrances to go for--the Glimmervaults populated with orcs seemed the "safest" for low hp first level characters, so to the Glimmervaults they went (also, rumors of glimmering "stars" on the cave ceilings, be they magic stars or possibly diamonds ... that, and Foz's player vaguely remembered the Glimmervaults from when I ran it years ago, before this restocking/redrawing).

Nothing molested them on their way out to the mountain, and when they arrived at the dungeon, they found two possible entrances into the hillside beneath which lay the vaults; to the east, a cave entrance, clearly trafficked, with several spears and poles outside bearing human, elf, and orc heads; and to the west about 200 feet a grotto of rock sank into the hillside with a quieter cave entrance piercing the slope.

It was at the point of approaching the western entrance in the grotto that Athelstan appeared, Johanna following behind him. Happy for the extra hp, the party put Athelstan in front (coming from sturdy peasant stock, he has 11 hp at level 2).

Heading into the cave entrance at the bottom of the grotto, the party entered into and explored a series of large irregular caverns, thick with stalactites and stalagmites. In the second chamber, they smelled a musty wet-dog smell, but saw no life; in the third they found two sets of steps carved into the stone, one heading down and to the south, the other up and to the east, probably to the upper caverns nearer the "front door" with the spiked heads.

At the back of the cavern, however, the party saw a formation of flowstone that caught their attention, and upon searching it, Foz found a secret door hidden within (being a goblin, he can discover secret doors like an Elf, on a 1 or 2 on a d6). This door opened into a long pillared hall with a corridor leading from both the east and west walls; the end of the hall opened into a room with a statue of a woman pouring water over a carved figure in funerary wrappings (and a door on the south wall, which they ignored). A search of the statue found a basin of scummy water with something green, slimy, and caustic in the pool, but nothing more.

Thus flowstone--but with a door secreted somewhere within

Exploring first to the west, the party found a common burial room with stacks of bones and burial niches in the walls, a search through which discovered 3 silvered death masks. They also found an empty tomb. That was the end of that section, so they turned east.

The eastern corridor branched first to the north, which opened into a tomb with a great bronze sarcophagus, inscribed with the name GALAD, and depicting battles between knights and orcs. While inspecting this sarcophagus, I finally rolled wandering monsters, and 3 orcs came walking down the corridor, neither party being surprised. The characters pushed Tore to the front to speak orcish to his half-fellows, and he gave them a cursory greeting. They demanded to know, "What are you doing in the territory of the Blacktooth Tribe?" to which Tore responded with the signal to attack.

This fight was short and deadly for the orcs--in the first round, Bear tore into one orc with a vengeance, while Tore brained his fellow; then Tore proceeded to stove the last orc's forehead in with a critical hit with his mace the next round. The bodies were looted for a paltry 10 gp, then deposited down the corridor in the common bone room.

Back at the GALAD sarcophagus, the party opened it up and found a gold death mask on the man's remains. They looted that, then proceeded down the corridor and found another room off a southern branch of the main corridor. This room contained five statues of knights, their faces broken off, each labeled with a name: GALAD; ALDARES; ALDANUS; HORUS; HONORUS. And on the west wall, an iron plaque inscribed with a curse: "The tribe of Galad is destroyed root and branch ... this place is accursed." (there's more in the middle, but Foz didn't record it all)

Somewhat spooked by the promise of a curse, the party traipsed back to the chamber with the statue of the woman washing the body and opened the door to the south. It opened into a room with a scummy well in the center, and iron grille work along the north wall that contained a large amount of silver ewers, bowls, candlesticks, etc. Alas, the party did not check the ceiling, and while Foz was checking the grille for traps, a colony of green slime dropped onto him from above.

Beware the green slime on the ceiling!

At 1 hp, Foz was knocked unconscious (and next to dead) when Tore applied a torch to the slime and dealt damage to both it and hapless Foz, no matter that he tried to only affect the slime. With the goblin unconscious and dying at his feet, Tore began to strip the armor off the goblin, hoping to strip the slime off with it; luckily, the slime came off--unluckily, it came off on and attached to Tore's arm. Turning to Athelstan, Tore proffered his arm, and Athelstan tried to burn only the slime--and rolled a 1 on the d6 to successfully harm only the slime, killing it with a lucky roll of max damage with the torch.

With a fallen companion on their hands, the party decided to quickly force the doors of the grille, loot the silver, and let that be the end. But of course, on their way out, the wandering monster roll indicated an encounter. I rolled it up--6 giant cave crickets, insouciant and feasting on lichens and molds. The party skirted around the large insects, emerged back into daylight, and scurried their way home.

Back in town, everyone agreed to carouse after splitting the loot. Athelstan leveled up to third level with a high roll; Foz rolled within his funds and made his save; but poor Tore rolled beyond his means and was forced to borrow 139 gp from the thieves' guild to make ends meet. The last thing he asked me as we ended the session was whether he could do a dirty deed on behalf of the guild to make things "right" between them--well, I'll just have to come up with something for next time, and let him decide what it's worth to have his debt "forgotten"!

New Class: the Free Goblin

As opposed to goblins still enslaved by their Elfin masters. The Elves of in my setting are soulless jerks who are followed around by entourages of enslaved goblins and ensorcelled/infatuated humans ... not that goblins aren't soulless jerks too, once freed, as Elves and goblins come from the same stock. The Elves just get the good blood, and the goblins get the ugly-genes.

Blix (from Legend) was almost a Free Goblin when he got that
unicorn horn ... then the Devil showed up to remind him who's boss

I tend to think goblins are more interesting than orcs (don't get me wrong, I use a lot of orcs ... but the encounters with Goblin Kings and such tend to be more fun than with just another orc chieftain), so when contemplating adding another demi-human to my game--a semi-monstrous one, like a half-orc--I opted instead to write up the goblin as a new B/X demi-human class. Half-orcs might come later, but goblins are what I have now. So:

The FREE GOBLIN
To play a free goblin, a character cannot have a charisma higher than 12. The free goblin's prime requisite is Dexterity; 13+ grants a 5% bonus to xp earned on an adventure, while 16+ grants a 10% bonus (non cumulative). Free Goblins may be Chaotic or Arcane of alignment.

                                                                                                                      SPELLS
                                                                                                 First      Second     Third     Fourth
Level 1 -- Scroggling -- 1d4 HD -- 0 XP                                --            --              --           --
Level 2 -- Goblin -- 2d4 HD -- 2500 XP                                1             --              --           --
Level 3 -- Hobgoblin -- 3d4 HD -- 5000 XP                          2             --              --           --
Level 4 -- Bugabear -- 4d4 HD -- 10,000 XP                         2            1               --           --
Level 5 -- Goblin King -- 5d4 HD -- 20,000 XP                    2            2                --           --
Level 6 -- Goblin King 6th Level -- 5d4+1 hp -- 40,000       2            2                1            --
Level 7 -- Goblin King 7th Level -- 5d4 +2 hp -- 80,000      3            2                1            --
Level 8 -- Goblin King 8th Level -- 5d4 +3 hp -- 200,000    3            2                2            1
Free Goblins may advance no higher than 8th level.

Goblins fight as clerics, save as thieves, may use any weapons (except those too large for a smaller creature to use, e.g. no two-handed swords, no longbows, no polearms), may wear only leather armor, but may cast spells while wearing armor. They may use shields, but cannot cast spells if their hands are full, i.e. wielding a weapon and a shield at the same time.

Being free goblins, freed from the yoke of slavery under the Elves, goblins hate Elves and may not adventure in their company; likewise, Elves will not associate with free goblins (other than perhaps by trying to re-enslave them).

Goblins have thief skills as a thief of the same level, and cast spells from their own spell list:

First Level
1) Detect Magic, 2) Protection from Law, Darkness, 3) Cause Fear, 4) Charm Person, 5) Hold Portal, 6) Sleep, 8) Ventriloquism, 9) Douse Lights, 10) Phantasmal Force, 11) Audible Glamer, 12) Change Self

Second Level
1) Blight (opposite of bless), 2) Silence 15', 3) Snake Charm, 4) Speak with Animals, 5) Detect Invisible, 6) ESP, 7) Invisibility, 8) Knock, 9) Locate Object, 10) Mirror Image, 11) Web, 12) Wizard Lock

Third Level
1) Cause Disease, 2) Animal Growth, 3) Curse, 4) Dispel Magic, 5) Haste, 6) Invisibility 10', 7) Protection from Normal Missiles, 8) Waterbreathing, 9) Hold Person, 10) Suggestion, 11) Slow, 12) Blindness

Fourth Level
1) Cause Serious Wounds, 2) Poison, 3) Sticks to Snakes, 4) Charm Monster, 5) Confusion, 6) Dimension Door, 7) Hallucinatory Terrain, 8) Massmorph, 9) Polymorph Self, 10) Polymorph Other 11) Wall of Fire, 12) Wizard Eye

At 5th level, goblins reach Name Level--Goblin Kings--and if they construct a labyrinth (i.e. a dungeon), they will gain 4-24 goblin followers. These are normal goblins (1-1 HD), and they will do as commanded only if cajoled, bullied, or bribed by the Goblin King. They always have Morale 7, regardless of treatment by the Goblin King or the deaths of their fellows, and are a generally unruly and surly lot. They may be replaced by referee fiat.

Goblin Kings also gain two abilities, first they can fill their labyrinth with magical tricks, creating one per week--these tricks can virtually be anything, but must be worked out with the referee. Secondly, Goblin Kings gain the ability to transform human infants or children in to 1st level Free Goblins, a process that takes one year.

Goblin Kings don't automatically gain a potato in their pants,
but they certainly ought to construct a magical codpiece

I wrote the Free Goblin class to reach "name level" quickly, i.e. 5th, to let people get into the domain game quickly, with their goblin followers and their ability to construct labyrinths/dungeons--and also to keep goblins weak compared to other demi-humans and especially humans. I wouldn't personally be put off by it when rolling up a character, but I wouldn't be surprised if it put others off.

Alas, despite my constantly pointing out to my players that they can roll up Free Goblins, none have yet taken me up on that offer. They haven't seen the rules (having evinced no interest), so I don't know if these just seem like weakling characters, or if my current group just isn't interested in playing creepy goblins. So I don't have any free goblin feats to report on.

Love At First Sight

Once upon a time I was infatuated with the new idea of random tables, and I thought it would be fun to write one about "falling in love at first sight" or ... infatuation. Despite the fact that D&D Basic/Expert already has something kind of representing this with the "reactions roll" (2-12 on 2d6, 2-5 is bad, 6-8 is uncertain, 9-12 is good). No, I wanted a percentile dice table with little fiddly bits for various things.

Well, I'm still infatuated with random tables, especially now that I understand better how to write them, even on the fly (e.g. my d12 secret resurrection table, my d12 secret eating a dragon heart table, the d12 oddments for sale tables posted earlier, my various wilderness encounter tables, etc.). But this table, written at the beginning of my (so far comparatively short) Old School D&D stint, still has a place in my heart. And in the hearts of one of the first players of my Old School game, apparently, as he asked me if I still had it for the game today (Storming Mobrai Castle).

Infatuation in this case doesn't really have any "mechanical" game value. I would roll it once, when characters first meet, to see if there's some kind of "spark" for one or the other individual (and it's explicitly not mutual, just like you can have a crush on someone and they totally don't think you're hot or interesting at all). I don't do it all the time, but it can be nice to roll when you save a prince or princess, or when first meeting a sage or business proprietor to maybe get something extra out of the exchange. I've also used it personally for my own characters to see if they're especially attracted to other PCs or NPCs, to inform my "role playing" and which characters my own pay special attention to.

That is, it's only as "binding" as any one player decides it is, but it can add a fun element of surprise to the game in the form of character attachments and love triangles.

So, without further ado:


With d% dice...
Base chance to fall for someone is 10%
All modifiers are in +/-1% increments.

Charisma:
3          -3
4-5      -2
6-8      -1
9-12      0
13-15  +1
16-17  +2
18        +3

if your race is ...
Human
 +1 humans, half elves; +2 elves; -1 halfling, man-ape; -2 dwarf; -3 half orcs
Half Elf
 +1 humans, elves; +2 half elves; -1 man-apes, -2 dwarves; -3 half orcs
Elf
 +1 elves; -1 humans, halflings, man-apes; -3 dwarves; -4 half orcs
Halfling
 +1 elves, halflings, dwarves; -1 man-apes, -3 half orcs
Dwarf
 +1 dwarves; -1 humans, halflings; -2 half elves, half orcs, man-apes; -3 elves
Half Orc
 +1 humans, man-apes; -1 half elves, half orcs, halflings; -3 elves
Free Goblin
 +1 half-orcs, man-apes, -1 halflings, -2 dwarves, -3 half-elves, -6 elves
Man-Ape
 +1 apes, humans, half-elves, half-orcs, elves

if your Alignment is ...
Lawful
 +1 lawful, +1 clannish, -1 arcane, -1 chaotic, -1 natural
Chaotic
 +1 chaotic, +1 arcane, -1 lawful, -1 clannish
Good
 +1 good, +1 neutral, -1 evil
Neutral
  +1 good, +1 natural
Evil
 -1 good
Arcane
 +1 chaotic, -1 lawful, -1 natural, -1 clannish
Clannish
 +1 lawful, -1 chaotic, -1 natural, -1 arcane


No gnomes? I greatly dislike gnomes as presented as a player class. Gnomes in my game are creepy underground/forest dwellers that eat teeth stolen from children and do other weird things.

Plus, obviously, this table reflects a 1E AD&D world with half-elves and half-orcs. I'll have to come up with classes for them for my B/X game. And free goblins? That's a class I'll post about soon.

Storming Mobrai Castle

I finally got to run something I've been longing to run for a very long time--a wargame scenario in my D&D game using the old Master of Magic rules (Master of Magic being a 1994 Microprose 4X game set in the two fantasy planes of Arcanus and Myrror).

I played a lot of MoM (Master of Magic ... Master of Orion was MoO), and I loved it, and I showed it to a few friends who also loved it, and it was always terribly frustrating that the game is single-player only. We had to play Heroes of Might and Magic to get a multiplayer game going, but it to me it was nothing compared to MoM. I always wanted to run something like MoM with my friends, paper and pencil style, and this afternoon I finally got that chance:

Clark the fighter and Allen the cleric (the long-running characters of my buddy Josh) along with Grimalf, human follower of Galtzak the Tiger-Faced Halfling (characters of another good friend, Renee, who was not present but gave her sanction to the wargame), hired a small army of mercenaries and stormed the rival stronghold of Mobrai Castle, several hexes upriver from Galtzak's castle in Galtshire.


The Background
Several years ago, Galtzak got his hands on a ruined castle in a swamp that had been overrun by lizardmen. He semi-cleared it by slaying the slaad that dwelled in the basement, but so overawed the lizardmen that they stayed on as "guests"/servants (he had to let their leader lick his eyes, because I explained that eye-licking was a sign of friendship between lizardmen, who can't blink ...). Possession of this castle jumpstarted a domain game, and the castle became the new home for a group of about 200 halflings who moved in once Galtzak (and company) cleared away some monsters and cleared some of the forest and got the castle repaired.

Fast forward a few years, and I've got a new group running in the setting (my wife and two of her brothers); they reach high enough level for me to suggest a run-through of I2: Tomb of the Lizard King (1982). I reworked the module--being about a lizard king, lizardmen, and set in a swampy jungle, it's perfect to drop into the jungle south of Galtzak's castle and have the lizard king's return threaten Galtzak's new shire (and I also rewrote N1: Against the Reptile God and dropped it in for good measure). (they did defeat the lizard king and have since returned to the main dungeon, leaving Galtzak to fend for himself once again)

Altogether, I also wrote a whole wilderness around Galtzak's castle that I'd never had the time nor impetus to write before. This wilderness included another castle slightly upriver from Galtshire--Mobrai Castle, the last castle of the County of Eor, erstwhile foes of the Lizard King, but ultimately cut off from other human realms and in civilizational decline/decay. There's only one castle left, with a handful of villagers, and I wrote a hook that the villagers hated their lord, Arkenbrand III. Mobrai, for not doing enough to push back the lizardmen (also, his priest was the priest helping Sakatha in the Tomb).

My wife and bros never found the castle nor took the hook, but when in Boise over the summer, I got together with Renee and Josh, and the peasants of Mobrai Castle sent a delegation to Galtzak seeking his aid in overthrowing Arkenbrand III. and placing some other more effective leader in his stead. Galtzak agreed; a screwball assassination attempt failed (ending merely with the abduction of Arkenbrand III.'s daughter's cat), and that was the situation when I left Boise to return home.

But I got permission from Renee to run a little wargame around the two castles; and Josh came into town yesterday; so today Clark and Allen, with Grimalf's help, assaulted Mobrai castle with a force of human mercenaries and lizardman and halfling levies from Galtshire.


The Setup
I allotted "unit" sizes based on the number of figures in a MoM unit, which is generally six figures per unit, depending on certain factors. This makes for some pretty small-scale war, which was completely appropriate for play today (Arkenbrand III. had maybe 50 men-at-arms in his castle at most), but could probably scaled up by factors of 5 or 10 for bigger battles and still retain the ruleset.

"Galtzak's" Forces
48 lizardmen armed with spears (6 units of 8 figures each)
12 human swordsmen-at-arms (2 units of 6 each)
48 halfling settler-levies (6 units of 8)
16 halfling slingers (2 units representing Galtzak's name-level followers)
Clark (human "paladin", a LG fighter who through religious vows can lay on hands)
Allen (human cleric, LG, Clark's follower)
Grimalf (human fighter, C, Galtzak's right hand man)
plus the mercenaries Clark hired on Galtzak's behalf:
12 longbowmen (2 units of 6)
12 heavy cavalry (3 units of 4)

So that's a little over 150 men sent to take this Mobrai Castle. Josh split his forces up with an interesting plan: he sent Clark, Allen, and the human fighters upriver first, and made it clear that they were setting up siege outside Mobrai Castle (and the castle's watchers saw them and returned with word of the assault to the castle); meanwhile, the halflings and lizardmen, led by Grimalf, left on another set of boats and landed further upriver from the castle at night, and then made their way through the hills to the western side of the castle (where was previously established a gap in the wall, through which the abortive assassination attempt was staged). I rolled two dice, and the castle defenders neither noticed the sneaking lizardman/halfling force, nor had the gap filled in (they didn't know about it).

Ultimately, Josh hoped to draw Arkenbrand III. Mobrai's men into battle below the castle, while the halflings and lizardmen filed in through the gap to take it from behind (and he hoped to capture Arkenbrand III. in the keep, assuming he would lead from the rear).

Well, Arkenbrand III. was ready for battle, and he did exactly what Josh hoped, leading his forces out in a sortie to crush the invaders, leaving a garrison of bowmen and spearmen to control the castle from the walls. Also, he had hired a pair of stone giants from the hills around his castle, which rather spooked Josh with their appearance.

Arkenbrand III. Mobrai's Forces
12 light cavalry (3 units of 4 figures)
24 human swordsmen (4 units of 6)
48 peasant spearman levies (6 units of 8)
12 bowmen (2 units of 6)
2 stone giants (each being its own figure, like a hero)
and Arkenbrand III. Mobrai himself (high level human fighter)

So, altogether about 100 men-at-arms defending the castle, half of them of poor morale, plus two giants. Yes, the odds were heavily skewed for Josh--but I'd written the castle's defenders long before, and that's just what Arkenbrand III. had (other than the newly hired giants). But that's war for you--often battles are heavily skewed one way or the other.


The Battle
Arkenbrand III. set up with his cavalry out front, himself behind to charge with them, with the giants slightly behind as "living siege engines" (they can throw a couple rocks per battle before closing to melee), flanked by wings of spearmen and swordsmen. He kept his bowmen in the castle towers in reserve, along with other spearmen (also with some intent to make sure the castle wasn't overrun by disgruntled peasants in his absence ...).

Josh/Clark set his troops up with cavalry up front, heroes and swordsmen just behind, and longbowmen off on the right flank. The halflings and lizardmen were going to start entering the castle through the gap in the wall two units per turn, and I would roll a d6 per turn of combat for the men inside the castle to notice, starting with a 1 in 6 notice, then a 2 in 6 next turn, then 3 in 6, etc.

The cavalry basically charged each other, while the giants and the longbowmen picked targets (and the bowmen on the walls were outside of range to do anything substantial). The giants' first volley, one boulder against Clark, one against a unit of his cavalry, both resulted doing no damage because of successful defense rolls. Then the cavalry meleed each other, and we began to roll dice in earnest.

After the first exchange, Clark's cavalry was suffering, because one unit had taken attacks from two opponents. Allen the cleric cast healing on this injured unit (for this scenario I used the MoM spell rather than D&D cure spells). Then Clark's cavalry replied in earnest, all three units attacking Mobrai's three cavalry, and Mobrai's horse was devastated. The longbowmen, meanwhile, nearly destroyed one of Mobrai's swordsmen units, which was marching forward with the other infantry in a slower line behind the cavalry.

On the next round, Arkenbrand III. Mobrai joined his cavalry against Clark's; though his cavalry ended up getting killed in their melees, Mobrai destroyed an entire unit single-handedly; then, over the course of the next round, destroyed a second unit of cavalry. The man was clearly a bad-ass, wrecking 4-man units of horsemen at a time, calling for Clark to stop being a coward and come fight me! But Clark signaled for his longbowmen to pincushion poor Mobrai; and as Mobrai took enough hits that I had him retreat, he ended up getting shot in the back with arrows (and ultimately dying).

The giants were marching forward by this time, each having thrown their complement of boulders--and Clark wisely sought to buy them off, rather than fight them directly, and with a called offer of piles of gold and herds of sheep, the giants looked at dead Lord Mobrai and decided to call the battle off. With their defection, the other soldiers threw down their arms.

Unfortunately, those on the castle did not immediately surrender--rather, they were engaged in a kind of ineffectual battle with the lizardmen infiltrating into the keep. See, Josh had sent his lizardmen up the walls to attack the bowmen and spearmen of Mobrai's reserve (and the halflings were going to go seize the keep, where Josh assumed Arkenbrand III. was). As the reserves noticed the lizardmen sneaking up on them (on the second turn), they turned and began to fight--and even after their comrades on the field below had surrendered, they continued to fight for several turns, terrified of the lizards' advance. But ultimately, they too surrendered, after three or four rounds in which neither side eliminated any unit completely.

Thus was Mobrai Castle stormed and claimed by Clark in the name of Galtzak the Tiger-Faced. The peasant levies were relieved of duty and sent back to the countryside to rebuild their farms, and Mobrai's men-at-arms were sent downriver to be held by Galtzak until he figures out what to do with them.


The Rules
A quick aside about the MoM rules: the game was based on 10% chance increments, base chance of landing a hit 30%, base chance of shrugging off a hit 30%, modified up or down by 10% for every +1 or -1 (so +1 to hit is 40% or 1-4 on a d10, etc.). I find this unique among wargames, though perhaps I'm not well versed with them. Most wargames I'm familiar with use d6s (because they're readily available in large numbers and easy to read quickly), but MoM was a computer game first, and so could do large amounts of math quickly (like, we were rolling 16 or 20 d10s at a time, picking out rolls of 1-3, and it took us a few rounds before we were doing it smoothly).

Also, every melee gives both units a chance to attack, at the attack strength of their figures at the beginning of the melee--casualties are only taken after both sides have rolled their attacks and defense. And defense was a weird roll to figure out; I gave Josh the benefit of rolling all his defense dice for his cavalry against the giant's first throw, but then thought that seemed wrong with the first cavalry melee. Sure enough, the example in the MoM rule book shows going through a unit figure by figure, and once we started doing that, melees started looking more like the MoM battles I remembered (enormously frustrating and satisfying almost simultaneously!).

Example:
... The basilisk has a melee attack strength of 15 (i.e., it has 15 sword icons on its statistics). Thus, the computer makes 15 die rolls for it, each with a base 30% chance to hit. With a little luck, the basilisk scores 5 hits from among those die rolls. The elven lords, in response, have a defense strength of four each (each figure has four shield icons among its statistics). So, the first elven lord figure steps up to defend against the basilisk’s 5 incoming hits. The computer rolls four dice (one for each shield), each with a base 30% to negate a single hit. Unfortunately, it completely misses and all five hits are scored against that elven figure. Since each elven lord figure only has three hits (i.e., three heart symbols on its statistics), it is killed and the two remaining hits are applied against the next elven lord figure. That figure gets to use its full complement of shield icons, making four rolls against the same 30% chance to stop a hit. With better luck than the last figure, it manages to block one hit, and so suffers the other. Thus, after this melee exchange, two [sic., should read three because "elven lords" have four figures to start] elven lord figures remain standing in this unit, the foremost of which has taken a single hit (one of his three heart symbols is darkened). ... (p. 94, Master of Magic Manual, 1994, pdf)


The Aftermath
Inside the keep of Mobrai Castle was Arkenbrand III.'s daughter, Loara Mobrai, who was older than the players had earlier suspected (i.e. 20's, not a child). As he liberated the castle and learned of her presence, Josh asked me if I still had my old infatuation random tables; I do ... percentile dice were rolled to see if any hero liked her, and if she liked any hero, and it turned out that Grimalf was infatuated with Loara, but Loara was infatuated with Clark (and Clark had no particular interest for her one way or the other). Loara therefore suggested a marriage between herself and Clark, to retain legitimacy of his lordship (she being the rightful heir), and Clark agreed (sorry, Grimalf--you have two wives already, both foisted on you by Galtzak to cover up his indiscretions!). A wedding was thrown, using 4500 gp donated to a Lawful cause to earn Allen and Clark some extra xps (a lordly wedding is definitely Lawful).

Other local notables were Johann Hatch, a leader of the peasants rebelling against Arkenbrand III., and who warily trusts Clark to be a good lord, fingers crossed; and Kol Giant-Teaser, a peasant who hates giants and was dismayed to see Clark let them go, but whose "reactions roll" of 12 indicated he thinks Clark is a badass hero regardless (and he smiles and nods when Clark tells him that there will be no killing of giants unless the giants start something ... right, "start" something, he repeats, a glint in his eyes).

According to his promise to the giants, Clark sends downriver (to civilization) to buy four riverboats and 400 sheep, and arranges for the sheep to be transported upriver to appease the giants (besides also giving the two 1000 gold each). They seem content with this for the moment.

And as for Galtshire, the lumber profits for the month are nixed as the lumber usually sold downriver from Galtshire is instead sent upriver to help the peasants rebuild their homesteads and farms, which were earlier ravaged by raiding bandits and lizardmen from the Tomb of the Lizard King.

So a second PC is now in control of a castle (at level 8, too early to have followers, and he owes a portion of his income to the other PC as his liege, but still, another domain!), and the threats to Galtshire from lizards and from other human lords jealous of their ancient status as Counts of Eor have been dealt with--but many other threats still lurk in the swamps and hill around Galtshire, even as 250 more halfling settlers come boating in to set up homes around the castle of Galtzak (and who knows what might happen settler-wise with Clark at Mobrai Castle!).