Expedition to the Shrine of Aesclepius-Apollo 2

During a showdown against the Elf-King who dwells in the dungeons beneath the Azure Tower of Vyzor, in his own throne room, Barnabus Sleet was attacked by the Elf-King's guardian creatures and had his right foot ripped off and a life-energy level drained from him before the throne room collapsed and the battle ended as both sides retreated. Laurantha also had her left hand mangled, and you can read her account of the battle here.

Because of these grievous hurts, Barnabus Sleet gathered a small company with him to go and seek out the Shrine of Aesclepius-Apollo where, on another expedition, his apprentice Emma Brighteyes had been cured of her malaise from a lost life-energy level.


the Party:
Barnabus Sleet (muscle wizard)
Jaina, Son of Folg (thief)
with Dale (fighting-man valet)
Magic Meryl (halfling, formerly magic-user)
with Tiberius (normal mercenary) and Galahad (orc mastiff)
Frigga (a witch)
Fulvia (NPC cleric of St. Ursula)
Laurantha (B/X Elf, my own character, but she was just along for the ride)
various livestock being taken to the shrine to be sacrificed
and some lackwits formerly enslaved by a lamia


The party started off in the city of Calpurnia, because IRL the plan had been to go to the Old Forest Keep, until the battle with the Elf-King happened and Barnabus needed healing. In Calpurnia, they acquired what they needed for the sacrifice to Aesclepius--Barnabus spent 1000 gold on flawless oxen, good wine, and fine incense, as well as a little bronze foot and another token to represent what needed healing. Frigga purchased a sheep and a chicken because she was interested in sacrificing them to Apollo and divining places to learn more arcana.

They then set out for Sweetwater, a town south west of Calpurnia on the King's Highway, and the town nearest the abandoned shrine. This journey took a week, so I rolled once on my On the Road table ... and in the middle of the week as the party was traveling along, they were suddenly attacked by insectoid horrors that burst out of the ground to attack Tiberius and Laurantha. But the attacks missed, and Meryl cast phantasmal force to create illusions of more party members with the intent that the illusions be attacked by the insects and the party could flee. But I rolled a morale for the insects being suddenly confronted with so many more things than expected, and they actually started digging themselves back into the earth. And so the company continued on their way.

In Sweetwater, Barnabus hired Fulvia from the local shrine to St. Ursula, as the sacrifice to Aesclepius requires a cleric of Good alignment to do it; they also picked up the lackwits left at the shrine last time, intending to take them to the shrine and have them healed of their lost wisdom (lost from the lamia's touch). The party then set out for the shrine; and immediately discovered that two weeks of their rations had spoiled (it was a random roll on one of my wilderness encounters charts), so they had to go back to Sweetwater to pick up more rations. They also considered casting a curse on the merchant who sold them the bad rations, one Thidrek of Calpurnia.

The only other encounter I rolled on the way was with hippogriffs, which meant merely that the party happened to see a herd of the creatures cavorting in the air over the hills to the east.

I did also mention the dragon that dwells in those eastern hills and mountains, which they glimpsed at a great distance only as a shadow of a serpent soaring through the air on great wings.

What I failed to mention was that the stars are singing--even this far south of Brakeridge and the Greyhame mountain, people can still hear the stars singing at night, though it is fainter.

Anyway, the party arrived at the shrine without trouble and looked on the old ruin of the shrine above ground, which is essentially a shell of classical-style columns and carvings, with a stair down in the far east wing where is depicted a man bearing a snake-twined staff; and another stair down in the far west wing, where are carved images of a handsome young man with a lyre charming birds and beasts or riddling with sphinxes and old gods.

There was some confusion as to which stair to take, but Fulvia ultimately pointed out that Aesclepius is the healing god, and that his accouterments include the snake-twined staff. So down the eastern stair they went. Meryl had a map from the last expedition, and so they quickly traversed the first rooms to the great hot spring pool where supplicants incubate to receive healing from Aesclepius. To the east of the hot spring is a smaller room wherein stands the altar and idol of Aesclepius; but looking into this room, the party discovered that another idol had been erected behind the altar, a crude idol carved from a great tree trunk with one thick limb in particular jutting up with a clear resemblance of an erect phallus.

Barnabus took down the new idol and had it chopped up to burn (to use in the fires required for burning the sacrifices), and then Fulvia took over and began the sacrifices. These are like any classical sacrifice, with the oxen slaughtered, their thigh bones, entrails, and fat burned on the altar while their steaks are cooked up and eaten by the supplicants and priest. Wine is poured out over the fire and then drunk in great quantity, while incense is burned and its smoke blown over the idol to please the god. All this takes a while, so I rolled a few wandering monster checks--alas! nothing came by to check out all this noise.

After the sacrifice was completed, Barnabus, Laurantha, and the lackwits still needed to incubate at the hot spring for a while, and so the rest of the company took their leave--Frigga, Meryl, and Jaina all set out back for the stairs to head down the west side and seek out the divining room of Apollo. Meryl had some trouble reading her map and took the party into a room labeled as having an Apolline statue, only for the party to find themselves confronted with a giant and his cronies and a large pack of wolves.

"What are you doing in here, man-things?" the giant boomed at them. "Come to raid this place, eh? Well get out, before I crush you!"

But as the giants approached to do just that, Frigga piped up, declaring herself a witch of the north, come to look for lore in the divinations through entrails.

"You know some lore, then, do you?" the giant asked, and a light came into his eyes. "Well--perhaps you can divine something for me then, too?" The party agreed--Frigga had brought an extra animal just in case she needed extra entrails--and the giant introduced himself as Vargir, son of Vanr, and then started leading the way to the proper chamber (not the one Meryl had just led them to). Along the way, some of the wolves peeled off and went in another direction, boding ill ...

Soon enough, the giant showed them into a room with an altar and an idol to another god, the handsome young man with the lyre, and a ceiling set with glittering stones in the shapes of the constellations at night. The giants gathered along the west wall and eagerly awaited to see some sacrificing and entrails-reading. "Tell us how to slay Yamir," Vargir ordered Frigga (who then had Fulvia do the sacrifices).

The answer to that question was, Fulvia declared, "A sword of truth." To which answer the giants fumed and stamped their feet. "We already knew that! That is his doom--but what is it?"

Frigga then stepped up and tried to read the entrails for more information, but found nothing. But she agreed to "read the entrails" of the other animal for the giants while secretly telling Fulvia to answer her question, which was, "Where can I find more witch-arcana to learn?"

So Fulvia did the whole ritual again, with Frigga "helping" and ultimately Frigga declared that a sword of truth must be made from the teeth of the dragon in the mountains that they had seen, as dragons are very ancient and powerful, and because of their ancientness closer to the truth at the moment of creation, or some such humbuggery. "Eklereath's teeth?" Vargir grumbled. "He seems rather a young dragon for such a thing ... still, if that's what you say ..."

Meanwhile, Fulvia whispered to Frigga that she had read something about "nine eyes" and "crows in the forest" and "an old castle", from which clues the party came to the conclusion that Frigga could learn her crow-summoning arcana from the crows that dwell on or around the Old Forest Keep.

Now, while all of this was happening, Jaina son of Folg was pickpocketing Vargir. She (yes, she, I don't remember the particulars as to why Folg's son is a girl, but so she is) pulled out a couple handfuls of gold with successful checks and but then decided to go big, because Vargir's bag looked like it contained quite a lot of coin. So she started emptying her own backpack and large sacks in the background, comedia dell'arte style, while everyone else was paying attention to the sacrifices. She then slit the bottom of Vargir's bag and, with another successful check, managed to gather 5000 gold in her sacks.

A great howling began to ring through the stone corridors of the dungeon at this point, and Vargir pricked his ears and then declared, "Sounds like Navitnir has got wind of your presence. You'd best be out before he catches you." Because the party had done him a good deed, he allowed them to flee out the door--and just in time, as a huge pack of wolves came surging out of the darkness to the west. The party fled, wolves panting at their heels; at the top of the stair, Meryl used her halfling stealthiness to hide nearby while the party fled down the eastern staircase. Then, as the wolves boiled up, howling, Meryl cast phantasmal force creating illusions of the party fleeing down the hill, out into the wilderness ... and the wolves howled and went straight for them. Meryl then fled down the east staircase after her fellows.

Returning to the hot springs, the party found more than just Barnabus, Laurantha, and the lackwits--with them now, was a great turtle, its shell mossy but with glittering gold inlaid below the growths, pontificating about esoteric metaphysics and turtlian dialectics; and interrupting the lecture constantly with crude jokes or bad faith arguments, and shrieking with weird laughter at the turtle's discomfiture, were a gang of yellow-eyed hyena-headed creatures--obviously gnolls.

The party was confused by the presence of these things: "You guys weren't here last time!" Meryl said to the gnolls, to which they laughed and responded, "Sure we were!" It came out that the idol that the party had destroyed was theirs, and now they needed a new one, so they sent their human slaves out to collect a tree and drag it back in, down the stairs to the hot springs. The party was content to wait and kind of play along, but when they saw that the slaves were just going to hack out a crude image, taking even more time, Meryl decided to try to scare the gnolls off. With another casting of phantasmal force, she created an image of Melodeia, the scorpion-lamia from the last expedition, rising from the hot springs.

In response to this, the gnolls got spooked, but rather than running turned menacing. Their laughter became eerie and forced morale rolls for NPCs (who all failed and started to try to flee), but the party got the drop on the gnolls with high initiative and Barnabus leapt to the attack. He and his floating fists (he has two or three that follow him around anymore) killed four gnolls in his round alone, while Meryl cast sleep over another four gnolls. These losses were enough to scatter the gnolls, and the party then elected to depart the dungeon, as their healing was complete, and they had managed to acquire a fair amount of loot.

Through the use of invisibility 10' they returned back through the wilderness without incident, and that was that--Barnabus had a new foot and had regained his level, the lackwits were (mostly) restored from their idiocy, and Laurantha was healed of her wounds (though her lost fingers she actually replaced with magic fingers created by powerful wizard Pete Loudly).

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon 12.5

During the same week that Kord ventured forth alone to the Howling Tower, Blackleaf sought out Lailith, high-level cleric of St. Ursula, and the two were seen rising from the grounds of the Shrine of St. Ursula on the back of a flying broomstick and set out toward the east where looms the silhouette of the Greyhame Mountain ... but even as they set out, the sky darkened ominously with the beginnings of a summer storm ...


28 November's Roster:
Blackleaf (Elf 3)
Lailith (cleric 8)


A number of people in town, especially fellow adventurers at the Black Dragon's Meed regaled by Mizer with the tale of his adventure with Blackleaf, have heard that Blackleaf was confused and somewhat distressed by the reactions of others to the news that she had beaten and robbed the philosopher turtle; and moreover, for several days, she was seen speaking at length with Lailith at the Shrine of St. Ursula, especially concerning the nature of goodness, and how an Elf might acquire a soul.

So it was generally presumed that this setting-out of Lailith and Blackleaf together had something to do with seeking restitution for the turtle.

As they flew off, people noted the ominously storm-yellow skies which gradually darkened until the afternoon seemed evening, and the evening was pregnant with darkness until ultimately lightning flashed, thunder rolled, and heavy summer rains were unleashed below. This seemed to bode ill for a pair riding the back of a broomstick, but nothing was seen of the twain straggling back to town--where they killed by a stray thunderbolt? Pressing on regardless?

The rains continued for the rest of the week--and four days after first setting out, Lailith, wild-haired and weather-beaten returned to Brakeridge, supporting a badly drained and injured Blackleaf on the back of her broomstick. The twain descended to the grounds of the Shrine of St. Ursula; a few of the devoted congregants who have been won over by Lailith's constant ministrations of healing and curing of diseases saw the pair enter into the shrine, and Lailith make room for Blackleaf to rest in Lailith's own humble cell.

Some few rumors were learned by these devoted at this time, which of course spread through town after being spread to the local watering holes (though nothing like the boisterous regalings of adventurers returning to town flush and ready to spend and drink and boast all night long).

The pair did indeed seek the turtle-philosopher in the pool of the Brokenbrand Falls, and they found him, and Lailith cured him of his last hurts. They learned that his name is Khelonius, and that he was brought to the falls by Caliburn, third of the five Bronding Kings, and bedizened in recompense for his excellent learning and playing of chess with Caliburn and his sons.

Moreover, they seem to have won a truce at least, and perhaps a chance at forgiveness for Blackleaf, if she can bedizen him with new jewels ("Not that I'm vain," Lailith quotes Khelonius, rolling her eyes slightly, "but they were gifts of some sentimental value ...")

No, Blackleaf was not slain by the turtle; rather, she and Lailith disturbed the crown of the skeleton throned above the pool, and a party of misty-ghostly knights rose up and challenged for possession of the crown. Blackleaf was slain by their cold misty swords, but fortunately, Lailith was able to raise her. Now Blackleaf requires one full week of rest before she can do any further adventuring, and so she will likely miss the next expedition to the Greyhame Mountain Dungeon.

That's all the devotees can gather before they're shooed away. Blackleaf needs her rest, Lailith admonishes them, and shuts the door behind her to let Blackleaf rest while she herself goes forth to lead the evening round of prayers in her shrine.

------

Remembrance for the Fallen
Hot Dog (mastiff), Cross (mastiff), Orion II (lion dog), Bacon (boar hound), Tore (half-orc fighter 1/cleric 1), Jimmy the Snitch (dog), Orion (lion dog), Harambe (man-ape 1)

And for those Enchanted Away
Dol (fyrdman hireling)

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 11

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...

...

and Jaer the Windlord is said to look down on the world below from the Eyries of the Eagles on Greyhame Mountain itself ...


23 November's roster:
Mizer (magic-user 3)
with Thorngrim and Arngrim (two normal men), as well as a mastiff, a half-wolf, and a boarhound
Blackleaf (Elf 2)
with Johann Haybaler and Dol (two normal men), as well as Droopy and Snoopy (both mastiffs)


Blackleaf also bought a sprig of nightshade, said to be helpful against enchantments if worn; and she glanced at the nosegay of dragonrose, said to put reptilian beasties like dragons to sleep, but didn't ultimately purchase it.

Thus equipped and with a full party of hirelings and dogs, Mizer acquiesced to Blackleaf's burning desire to return to the Brokenbrand Falls to seek out the turtle philosopher there, and to denude him of his remaining eleven gems. To this end, they borrowed the maps from Little Bob (who has heretofore generally been the party mapper), and then set out for the falls.

On the first day, a storm blew up, destroying a spear, plate armor, twelve arrows, a week of rations, and a shield; it was raining all the rest of the way. Then, on the third night, just before arriving, the party was surrounded by ghouls--they did what I had hoped "concreteness" for the wilderness attrition would allow, and reacted by offering to use holy water, flasks of oil, and the web spell to help reduce attrition, all of which I allowed (and I rolled a random number for vials of holy water and flasks of oil), and they managed to maintain a defensive ring around their camp and to drive the ghouls away by morning.

Arriving at the falls, Blackleaf got out the maps from Little Bob and realized they made very little sense, given that they're spread over three pieces of parchment, and include distant areas drawn close together on the same map, duplicate areas that don't quite match up, etc. She had a general idea of where to go to return to the great pool, but couldn't see how the areas all matched up.

Nevertheless, they went in, and turning east in the first series of halls where the green slimes tend to grow along the ceilings, they indeed found a colony. Finding it before it could surprise them, they burned it away with oil and torches; and then, looking at the map, figured they could find a quicker route to the large chamber with the falls itself than the circuitous southwestern route taken by other expeditions. This proved true; but the way was also blocked by five large fungal growths in the chamber that led down to the long hall.

Mizer mentioned the possibility of shriekers as the party hurled oil flasks at the fungi; and yet none of the flasks hit, but either sailed over and past, or were just dropped at the feet of the adventurers. Plucking up some courage, Mizer crept into the room with his torch, hoping to burn one, and then sure enough, a horrible shrieking started coming from two of the fungi; meanwhile, the others began shuffling toward the party.

They sent the dogs in, while the humans stayed back and hurled missiles at the fungi; this tactic worked quite well, and soon all the fungal growths were destroyed, largely torn apart by wardog teeth. Only one of the dogs was seriously hit, and had wisps of fungal tendrils sprouting from where a fungus had struck him; Blackleaf carved the infected flesh away with a knife, injuring the dog, but successfully cutting out the infection.

Beyond the fungi, a set of stairs led down into a long north-south pillared hall that at its northern end turned east. Checking around that way, the party found the eastern hall led to a great pool, while the pillars became stalagmite/stalactite columns carved to look like trees and which bore jeweled fruits. There was also a cave leading down into the depths; but Blackleaf remembered that the party had come down from the north after the first encounter with the turtle; checking the water, they found a path of stepping stones in the water that led north, against the current, and along which the party thence followed.

Something struck at one of the dogs from the water's deeps--something silver and flashing and big--but it didn't get a firm bite, and the party went quickly enough against the current to avoid any further interactions with it.

Coming out onto a shore of stone, the party found a stair that led up and to the north; following this, around several windings, they ultimately came out into a sun-filled canyon with the stream flowing south on their right, and a stair leading up under the cliffs. On their left was a door which they ignored, and on their right, into the cliff over the streams, a grotto, which they likewise ignored. Following the stairs all the way, they came to a bridge that spanned over the stream and onto an arcing east/north shore of stone around a large pool of crystal clear water, open to the sun and surrounded by high rock walls. On the north shore stood an image of Astora, Elf-Queen, at the base of which lounged several naiads.

This was the pool where the turtle had been, but the turtle-philosopher was not currently present.

When the naiads saw the party, they swam over, making eyes at the men in the party (everyone except Blackleaf, really)--that is, until they saw that no one had a higher than average Charisma. Dol the former fyrdman exchanged a couple winks with the naiads, which somewhat encouraged them, but Blackleaf put a stop to that by glaring and reminding Dol that he was on her dole.

Dol, right before Blackleaf stamped on his foot and reminded him he works for her ...

Without any takers, the naiads rolled their eyes and flounced away downstream.

Looking for the turtle, Blackleaf stuck her head in the water--she saw something glittering at the bottom of the preternaturally clear pool, but no turtle. An attempt to swim down (taking armor off before) resulted in her just getting caught up in the current and swept south until she could grab the shore and haul herself out, dripping and cold.

Now, around the pool, into both the northern and eastern cliff walls, were several entrances into further dungeon areas; the party decided to investigate the one whence issued a stream that fed into the pool. Following that corridor, they came to a room with a basin of water within which stood a naiad statue, and which was filled with the debris of several huge spiders, egg sacs, and several desiccated corpses (Blackleaf here recalled the spiders that almost killed Lead several expeditions back). Heading north from there, the party entered a room with a pool fed by a fall from the northwest, an image of a Bronding king against the north, a stair up and through the west wall--and a sleeping turtle-philosopher with eleven gleaming gems in its shell, off to the northeast.

Blackleaf, overexcited, convinced Mizer to cast web on the sleeping creature, thus entrapping it in a net of sticky strands. The casting of the spell awoke the turtle, and as it opened its eyes and witnessed the party approaching, it began to speak. What's this? Do you all think I'm some kind of beast, inconsiderable of moral standing, or are you such cravens that you just go around casting spells on helpless individuals all the time, eh? Do you cretins even know what moral standing is, or how you would determine whether a thing is worthy of consideration? Well?

All of the hirelings and Mizer as well failed their saves against this tirade of philosophy and stood entranced as the turtle began to elucidate the nature of parsing moral standing (this, while the turtle also began to rock and struggle to break free of the webs--it looked like it would get out before too long ...). Blackleaf, however, succeeded in her save, and with her dogs (which, being beasts, gave not a whit to the turtle's philosophizing), she stepped forward and started attacking the webbed turtle.

I see that you, like all your pointy-eared kind, care nothing for the suffering of others! the turtle declared as Blackleaf's sword and the teeth of her dogs scrabbled and clanged on his shell. But he could do nothing other than rage impotently, trying to break free of the webs. After two short rounds of attacks, he was bleeding and beaten enough that he simply dropped his head. Take all my jewelry, he said. Just please don't kill me.

Then Blackleaf called off her dogs, pried the gems free from the turtle's shell, and then the turtle, with a surprising speed, fled into the water and went away downstream, bloodying the water.

Each of the eleven gems seemed to be worth about 1000 gold; and with their ill-won jewelry, the party elected to quickly return home. Back in the large chamber with the pool, they briefly spied the turtle's head above water, but then he vanished quickly again beneath the waves.

Also, on their way out, they glanced into a shallow cave in the northeast corner of the chamber, and saw within an old skeleton crouched in death on a great throne, with a crown of nine glittering diamonds upon its head. Blackleaf, ever greedy, reached out with her sword to lift the crown, and immediately she touched it, a mist rose up all around, misty figures within, and a ghostly voice questioned, Art thou so certain thou art worthy of mine crown?

Wanting none of this, Blackleaf returned the crown, and the mists dissipated; and then the party fled out of the dungeon, and back down the stairs by the waterfall at the entrance. Dol managed to fall in, and yet never resurfaced. Going into the water to look for him, Blackleaf glimpsed him swim away with a group of naiads, but lost sight of them in the churning water under the falls.

On the way back to town, while fording a river, the party lost 12 arrows, a dagger, a shield, a week of rations, and all of Mizer's torches; then, that night, in a bout of hypothermia, Mizer managed to further lose a shield, sword, another week of rations, and more ammunition (he put them down somewhere during a shivering bout, but when he woke up the next morning, not dead, could not recall what he'd done with them ... sure, that'll work).

Back in town, Blackleaf used her portion of the proceeds from the gems (some 5500 gp) to pay off her 5000 gp debt to the thieves' guild, leaving her barely in the black. She then went to Lailith, the lawful good cleric of St. Ursula in town, and talked over some of the stuff the turtle had said, which had stuck with her, and ultimately felt something of remorse. She now feels that she must do something in restitution for the turtle, if she truly is to gain a human soul and the empathy that it entails.

Meanwhile, Mizer caroused, and managed to win himself a reputation as the life of the party in Brakeridge--any further carousing in that town will cost double for normal the amount of xp, until or unless he does something to change that reputation.

------

Remembrance for the Fallen
Orion II (lion dog), Bacon (boar hound), Tore (half-orc fighter 1/cleric 1), Jimmy the Snitch (dog), Orion (lion dog), Harambe (man-ape 1)

And for those Enchanted Away
Dol (fyrdman hireling)

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 9

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...

...

and Jaer the Windlord is said to look down on the world below from the Eyries of the Eagles on Greyhame Mountain itself ...

tonight's roster (actually played 14 November):

Aria (Elf 1, friend of Kaaraak the Eagle)

Lead (cleric 3, elected "captain" for the session)

Little Bob (traveling man 1)

with Marlowe (a cur) and Panzer (orc mastiff)

Blackleaf (Elf 1)

Aethulfwulf (paladin 1, formerly a fighter 1, but converted to Good this session)

Baby-Face (thief 3)

with Wheskers the Weasel (a snake-killing weasel)

Finbar (half-elf druid 1)

Unga Dunga (halfling 2)

Before the party was quite assembled, Baby-Face attempted to break Rendorsheeg (an Elf) out of jail, but he failed so badly that he managed to get himself imprisoned. The local thieves' guild bribed his way out (but not Rendorsheeg's), but that left Baby-Face 1000 gp in debt to the guild ...

When the party finally assembled, it was quite a number; they elected Lead the cleric as their "captain," and Lead announced that the party would journey to the Eyries of the Eagles, overruling all objections. The party appropriately bought rope and iron spikes/pitons for climbing, as well as extra rations, for the longer journey.

Then, following directions from Kaaraak the Eagle, Aria and Lead led the party north through the woods around to the west slope of Greyhame Mountain. I used actual wilderness checks for this, and ended up just rolling a couple non-monster encounters--first, Finbar was bitten by ticks after blundering through a nest of them (nice going, druid), ultimately to come down with some kind of disease; secondly, Little Bob was bitten by a viper, but managed to make his save against poison by sucking the venom out before it killed him.

The journey up Greyhame Mountain to the Eyries involves a hike up the mountain's slope, followed by an actual mountain-climb requiring rope, pitons, etc. The party sent Baby-Face ahead as the lead climber (given his thief ability to climb), and he set lead ropes  attached to pitons for everyone else, which allowed them to follow. Halfway up the mountain, on a ledge where the party could rest, Baby-Face pointed out a cave nearby to Lead; but Lead discouraged any exploration, and instead urged the party onward and upward. (Partway through this second leg of the climb, Kaaraak mentioned to Blackleaf that wyverns make their nests up here, having a truce with the eagles, but none with the two-legs down below)

Near the mountain's summit, the party finally reached "the Hame", a stretch of naked grey granite that resembles the hame laid across the shoulders of an ox's harness (I think? I hope I have this word right), which is laid around the mountain's shoulders. Here were a great number of eagle's nests, with eggs, chicks, and deer hauled up by the larger eagles for later meals. Kaaraak led the party through these nests to a cave under the summit, through which eldritch winds moaned.

There within, Jaer the Windlord appeared, a creature resembling a handsome man, fair-haired and blue-eyed, his cloak ever billowing in the winds, his tangled hair held down by a silver circlet. He demanded to know who came before him; Lead and his companions, who saved the eagle Kaaraak, was Lead's response.

A Master of Magic hero, and
o! the pixels are terrible here

Indeed, I have heard of the courage of those who have saved Kaaraak, my friend and servant, Jaer answered. And I have heard especially of the ministrations of Aria for my friend; therefore, I grant Aria the Elf a Guardian Wind, to protect her in times of need. This Guardian Wind is an elemental wind that once per day can be called on to create a protection from normal missiles effect, and once ever, can be used to create a fly effect, which ultimately discharges the elemental from further service.

Moreover, Jaer continued, I hope that I find in thee friends such who might destroy the evils of the orcs in the Glimmervaults below--those vile, deep creatures hate my friends, the eagles, and therefore I hate them. Bring me fifty orc heads, and I shall grant you all a Wish. I cannot destroy these creatures myself because things in the higher heavens are ever yet more important to an elemental of the upper airs as am I.

Aria also offered herself as an apprentice to Jaer, to learn wind magic from him; he agreed to teach her great magics of the air, but again, only for recompense of the destruction of the orcs below.

The party was thus incensed for the destruction of the orcs in the Glimmervaults; but they were uncertain whether they should climb back down the way they came (and maybe raid that wyvern-cave?), or whether they should hike down the back of the mountain. For indeed, on the far (eastern) slope of the mountain, they saw a path down to a defile that led ultimately to the back of the Brokenbrand Falls. Ultimately, Lead the Cleric decided that the party should hike down the back way, and from the Brokenbrand Falls into the Glimmervaults to attack the orcs there ...

So down the party marched (spending another day or so), and they got out their maps of the Brokenbrand Falls (two parties with partially separate maps, which they tried to overlap), and they asked where they emerged therein.

And instead, I described a new room, one with water flowing down from the northwest corner to the southeast corner, with an image of a rivergod behind the northwest corner's water, and an image of Brondr the old Bronding King with a broken sword in his lap on the north side of the stream. A corridor led south ... and none of this was on either map.

Heading south, the party entered a room with a long water-basin in the midst of which stood a statue of a naiad, with webs along the ceiling between the columns flanking the pool. As the party entered, they were surprised by three huge spiders, which dropped down and attacked Wheskers the Weasel, Lead, and Aethulwulf. Through a series of rounds, Lead took two hits, saving against poison both times, while Aethulwulf broke a series of shields to protect himself (one given by Blackleaf). But at last, the party slew the spiders, several dogs tearing the arachnids apart leg by leg, with Lead pulverizing the last spider with his warhammer.

The room also contained a large egg sac, and three cocooned victims; Aethulwulf tossed oil on the egg sac, and Little Bob lit it, and the webs burned away, destroying the young spiders in the sac; then the party cut apart the three cocoons and found three desiccated corpses, and a single Waterfall Sword, a kind of Viking sword with a waterfall mark on the ricasso.

The party then dithered for a long time, but ultimately headed east, whence gleamed open sunlight (considering the chamber opened to north, east, south, and west). Following the sunlight, the party found a wide space with a fairly large lake of clear, cold, mountain streamwater. In that sunlight, the party saw (beside an idol of Astora, Elf goddess of the stars and the night), a huge turtle with 12 gems in its shell holding court over a number of naiads, nakedly lounging on the banks thereby.

Except alive, of course, and perhaps a little
pretentious about its "deep" knowledge

Baby-Face was the first to approach this strange gathering, as he had before had good relations with naiads; these naiads did not recognize him, but they did fancy him, and started to wink at him and blow kisses to him. Meanwhile, the turtle turned and demanded, Who are you to interrupt my lecture of philosophy to these fine young ladies?

Now Aria and Blackleaf approached, Aria to engage the turtle in his philosophizing, Blackleaf to appraise the gems of his shell. The gems seemed to be worth about 1000 gp, and Blackleaf began to mumble about the riches represented (and murderous fantasies to take them all), while Aria became entangled in a nonsensical philosophical debate with the turtle (while also reprimanding Blackleaf for her obsessions with gold, rather than with natural wonders). Given the richness of the stones, Little Bob stepped up with the intent to remove the stones; but the turtle backed into the water, warily, and griped at the party. Why are you cornering me, interrupting my edification of these fine young ladies?

Little Bob and Blackleaf inquired about the gems--O, these were gifts to me from the Bronding kings, the turtle answered, a little garish, perhaps, but scintillating nonetheless--and the turtle further offered a single gem for an answer to a question. He asked for a solution to the epistemological problem of Edmund Gettier, of how to salvage the account of knowledge as "justified true belief" given "Turtle Gettier's" counter-arguments; the response from the players was weak in my estimation, but I rolled a 12 for "reactions" so I gave it to them--they offered something the turtle had not considered, that others might be relevant in any consideration of knowledge, ultimately not inappropriate for a turtle philosopher thinking to himself for some centuries alone ... and the turtle plucked off a gem and offered it to them.

(Meanwhile, Baby-Face continued his flirtations with the naiads. They told him they didn't care about the "lecture", they'd just come to make fun of and tease the turtle, and that they'd rather have Baby-Face come with them into the river. Baby-Face asked where the party was in relation to where he'd been, and found that following the stream southeast would lead back into the areas of the Brokenbrand Falls where he, Lead, and Unga Dunga had been before. But after relating this information to the party, Baby-Face agreed to just go with the naiads, and he disappeared with them under the waters, sharing a smooch for the sake of waterbreathing.)

Baby-Face joining the naiads while the
turtle-philosopher natters on beind

The party then followed Baby-Face's brief directions (while Blackleaf and Aria disputed over the turtle, Blackleaf wanting to take his gems, Aria, being of Natural alignment, wishing to protect the turtle). They ultimately found themselves in the Brokenbrand Falls where a map made sense, and agreed to seek some theoretical treasure nearby before heading back to town. The naiads had once directed Baby-Face and his companions to a nearby tomb for hidden treasures ... the party followed such directions into the tomb of Bragr.

In the tomb, they found a sarcophagus backed by a bas-relief of the World Tree with a serpent gnawing its roots to one side; approaching the tomb, Lead found nothing inside, but Blackleaf (as an Elf) pointed out that the serpent hid a secret door.

There within, behind the secret door, the party looked upon a tomb filled with grave goods--and also containing a colony of aggressive fungus! The party attacked the fungus with missile weapons, fire, and dogs, and because of the colony's slowness, the party tore it apart. Then the party looted the place and found much silver, electrum, and gold coinage; a tortoise-shell lyre and a bone-harp; 6 potions; and a wand; which seemed altogether to be worth a couple thousand gold pieces.

This treasure in hand, the party decided to head back to town; with their map, they made it quickly through the chambers of the Brokenbrand Falls, back to the slippery stairs that lead up to the halls, and all made their checks to avoid falling from the stairs. And at the base of the stair, they found Baby-Face waiting for them, dabbling his feet in the stream, satisfied smile wide on his face (he made his save to escape the naiads' charms ...).

Continuing back to town, the party dealt with a couple encounters of attrition in which they burned several weapons, ammunition, and shields--clearly ineffectual skirmishes against orcs in the night.

Lastly, arriving back in town, the party went on to carouse with their newfound wealth. At some point in the night of drinking, Little Bob wandered off into the village green and is said to have cursed and blasphemed the gods as vengeful assholes (and yet nevertheless he leveled up as a traveling-man through carousing!). As for Blackleaf, she is said to have strung local blacksmith Aldir along, hoping to marry him "for a soul" ... Baby-Face, meanwhile, bought rounds for everyone at the Black Dragon's Meed, and is now well known as the best drunkard in Brakeridge to have as one's drinking-buddy.

Finally, Aethulfwulf, spent a sum of money on a new small shrine to Adonai, Lawful Good god of justice, Pourer of the Horn; and then he also went carousing, but managed to end his night in his own bed, secure in his sense of having not made an ass of himself.

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Remembrance for the Fallen
Orion II (lion dog), Bacon (boar hound), Tore (half-orc fighter 1/cleric 1), Jimmy the Snitch (dog), Orion (lion dog), Harambe (man-ape 1)

Turtle Philosophers

Morla, alas, came to the ultimate conclusion that
nihilism is the only true philosophy

(thanks to Arnold K. at Goblin Punch with his Tortoise Tsardoms for some inspiration here)

Turtles can live for quite a long time (or more particularly tortoises, I suppose, but whatever), and the longest lived can survive for many centuries, especially those in fey or magical environments. Those that live for such a time have a penchant for long, deep thinking, and ancient memories, and put together can become philosophers of the highest order.

No particular turtle species necessarily produces such philosophers--ancient snapping turtles in the swamps, thousand-year-old tortoises on a desert island, sea turtles grown so old and large that they resemble islands, perhaps even dragon turtles! can all become philosophers--but those grown from the lesser species of turtle have the following stats:

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Turtle Philosopher

HD 6
AC 2
THAC0 14 (for those who use it)
Attack 2-8
Morale 6 (they don't generally like violence)


Philosophize -- Turtle Philosophers obviously have a deep and abstruse understanding of the world and of philosophy, and to make their particular systems of thought even more esoteric, they often inherit or invent recondite terminologies for the various phenomena of philosophy (from long-remembered conversations with errant magic-users and Elves, perhaps). By making a great speech of these arcane understandings, a Turtle Philosopher may choose to confuse, put to sleep, or even charm characters (according to the rules for those spells, confuse, sleep, or charm person).

This ability may be used 3/day, OR without limit so long as the referee continues to spout semi-coherent philosophical arguments, explanations, or minutiae. Characters save against petrification (of thought--so a wisdom or will save for later systems), and must save at -2 if the referee manages to scrounge up something of an actual philosophical oration. But IF a player/character responds by actually engaging with the diatribe, perhaps nitpicking terms or drawing out implications, that character saves automatically, and grants a +2 on his or her comrades' saves.


Sagacity -- Furthermore, if some kind of a rapport can be developed with a Turtle Philosopher (what do they want?--new philosophies to ponder, answers to old philosophical problems, maybe something so mundane as the banishment of a nasty old troll from the local swamp-neighborhood), the Philosopher can act as a kind of sage for the player/characters. That means that for 1-6 questions per favor granted it, the Philosopher can deeply ponder and delve into memories, and produce a reasonable sagacious answer for each within 1-4 weeks. This includes identifying magic items, another thing sages do in my game.

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Alas for some of the swamps inhabited by such a creature, the turtle becomes a Turtle Philosopher-King, obsessed with its own vision of an ideal society, which it attempts to foist onto its fellow citizens of the swamp (or desert island, or what have you). The Philosopher might also have a strange obsession with universal ur-shapes, geometry, or mathematics.

You all know how it ends when Yertle envisions
himself as the philosopher-king of his swamp ...

Turtle Philosopher-Kings have the same stats as their merely philosophizing kin, but they invariably attract some kind of following:

1) a School of 2-12 would-be Turtle Philosophers who are all HD 3, cannot yet spout philosophy, and who follow their Philosopher-King's commands absolutely

2) a Republic, somewhat along the lines laid out by the Philosopher-King, with 1-6 would-be Turtle Philosophers (as above), 4-16 lizardmen or bullywug Guardians, 2-12 Craftsmen, possibly forest gnomes, and 5-30 slaves, likely goblins, gripplis, etc.

3) a Cult of 5-30 lizardmen or bullywugs who worship the Philosopher-King as a reptile god and who offer semi-regular tribute

4) a Circle of 20-200 myconids whose "King" has found a deep rapport and companionship with the Turtle Philosopher-King

5) a Dragon (or Dragon Turtle) who has taken the Philosopher-King on as a kind of "court philosopher" in its lair, and to entertain its own ancient memory

6) an Imp who literally plays "Devil's Advocate" for the Philosopher-King's arguments; their cantankerous rapport is like two old men who regularly argue for argument's sake

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Regardless as to whether it is a mere Philosopher or Philosopher-King, Turtle Philosophers sometimes attract semi-regular petitioners as a kind of oracle--or as a sage, approached by individuals seeking knowledge. Such petitioners might include:

1) peasants come seeking some kind of oracle from the Turtle-Philosopher

2) a magic-user (or an apprentice of some greater wizard-lord) come asking for advice concerning a spell, a magic-item's formula, or a magical component

3) an adventuring party seeking sagacious advice, about a dungeon or a monster, say

4) a troupe of Elves come to pay respects to an old friend, swapping old in-jokes, treading out old gossip, and sharing new rumors

5) a congress of the local animals--baboons, or finches, or a school of trout--come to ask advice about some dispute in their own affairs

6) a cleric looking for old dirt on a rival cult

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Lastly, for the Greyhame Dungeoneers, there is an old legend that the Bronding kings and their naiad friends invited a Turtle-Philosopher to the waters above the Brokenbrand Falls to dwell there as a kind of court philosopher. The legends tell of a gem-and-gold-encrusted shell bequeathed by gracious sovereigns, and quibble about whether Brondr himself or one of his successors brought the dubiously named philosopher "Chelonius" to the falls.

Legends differ as to whether this particular Turtle-Philosopher preferred playing chess against the kings, or expounding on epistemology.