the Strangler Fig

I was in Panama for Christmas with my dad, uncle, and granddad (Granddaddy was stationed in the canal zone during the 70's, so my dad went to high school here and it definitely captured the family imagination), so I thought I'd try to come up with some D&D stuff related to Panama or tropical environments in general.

To that end, the other day I saw some pretty cool banyan trees, aerial prop roots hanging down from above, stretching for the ground, ready to create more and more trunks in an ultimate banyan grove all centered around a single huge trunk of intertwined trunks. Some quick Wikipedia research informed me that banyans are sometimes called "strangler figs" for the way that they grow around a victim tree and "strangle" it with their roots; and further that, as a fig tree, they are home to fig wasps, which developed symbiotically and cospecialized with fig trees, the fig providing the wasp a place to lay eggs and mate, the wasp pollinating the fig.

Hence the double feature of Strangler Figs and Fig Wasps ... Today, the Strangler Fig:

or Banyan Tree ...

Called a "strangler fig" because it is a parasitic organism that "strangles" its host--the banyan tree actually grows atop another tree, its seed having landed somewhere in the host's upper branches, and grown like a vegetative octopus from there. Early on, the banyan actually looks like tree roots growing down around the trunk of the host tree; later, as the banyan swallows or "strangles" the host and sends out limbs of its own, these down-growing roots actually become almost trunks themselves, creating the illusion of a small grove where the reality is one large down-growing organism (as opposed to an aspen grove, all one organism, but growing upwards).

After enough time, the banyan actually kills its host (after it has grown large enough to sustain itself), and as the host tree decays within the banyan's central trunk, it leaves behind a hollow space, perfect for any variety of spirits, jungle-creatures, or bandits to dwell within or inside which to store their valuables ...

And so, to D&D-ize the banyan tree ...

Strangler Fig
No. Appearing 1 (1-6)
AC 0
HD 8-12
THAC0 per HD, e.g. 12-10
attacks: suggestion or 7-12 roots
damage: 2-7 or charm
no movement
treasure: F

A strangler fig large enough to attack a party of humanoids has grown into a veritable grove of its own, with prop-roots resembling entire trees and aerial roots hanging down from the canopy throughout the "grove"--hence its hit dice of 8 to 12; feel free to shrink or expand the number according to the age/size of the "grove".

The grove feels to be a place of peace, which is the will of the fig attempting to lull prey into a sense of security. There is a 1 in 3 chance that from 1-4 animals of various kinds (e.g. monkeys, lions, agouti, etc. etc.) are resting beneath the banyan's limbs, subtly tapped by its roots, charmed, and succumbing to its appetite. These animals may be used by the banyan to attack intruders if the intruders are hostile.

Suggestion: All those who enter the grove (i.e. pass into the shadow beneath its canopy) must save against spells (or a make Will/WIS save), or they find the grove to be a perfect place to make camp, and make an argument for settling down for the day, or at least for returning before day's end ("Look at how peaceful the animals are here--lions and monkeys lying down together!").

The banyan being a slow-moving tree, creatures must spend at least 10 minutes under its canopy before its roots can act. At that point, those beneath must make a save against paralysis or be tapped by an aerial root. After that, 7-12 roots may act each turn, either directly attacking characters or charming them.

A root that attempts to charm a person descends and rests on their body, attempting to "tap" into them; the character must make a save against paralysis (fortitude or reflex? constitution or dexterity? choose what you want in newer editions). Characters who fail are "tapped" and cannot leave the vicinity of the grove, and can be compelled to fight against hostile intruders. Over the course of the root's accelerated growth, they become part of the banyan in 1-6 days, entombed within a new root-trunk. A cure disease spell will dissolve the root's connections inside the body, though a character thus freed will suffer 3-18 damage from separation.

Otherwise, the roots attack with slams like treant-limbs, dealing 2-7 damage per blow.

Any treasure is to be found within the main "trunk" (which may be hollow), or embedded in the down-growing aerial roots, in either case being the treasure of those entombed within--which will, of course, entail 10 minutes or more work to extract ...

Parasitic though they be, banyans are also often symbiotic homes to other creatures as well.

One half of banyan trees are home to a swarm of Fig Wasps, insects that co-developed with fig trees in a relationship even closer than that of the normal process of bees pollinating flowers.

One in three banyan trees is also home to a dryad, a bisan (from Oriental Adventures), or some other tree spirit; these are (1-2) the spirit of the host tree, desperate for help destroying the banyan, (3-5) the spirit of the banyan or some other spirit dwelling within the hollow of the "trunk" and which will rise to its defense, or (6) an unaffiliated spirit that dwells within the hollow trunk or spreading branches, but which is itself independent of the banyan.

Further relationships are eminently possible:
Consider an entire human keep, made of stone, swallowed by a vast banyan and now home the ghosts of its former inhabitants!
OR, a peaceful banyan, converted to (Buddhism) by a saint in expectation of better future lives and escape from the wheel of suffering, which holds under its branches/roots a permanently peaceful gathering of merchants and wanderers, guarded from evil by the power of the tree.
(the etymology of "banyan", according to Wikipedia, is that "banyan" meant "merchant" in Gunjurati Indian; and such merchants would spread their wares beneath the shade of certain [banyan] trees)

the Fig Wasp

I was in Panama for Christmas with my dad, uncle, and granddad (Granddaddy was stationed in the canal zone during the 70's, so my dad went to high school here and it definitely captured the family imagination), so I thought I'd try to come up with some D&D stuff related to Panama or tropical environments in general.

To that end, the other day I saw some pretty cool banyan trees, aerial prop roots hanging down from above, stretching for the ground, ready to create more and more trunks in an ultimate banyan grove, all centered around a single huge trunk of intertwining roots. Some quick Wikipedia research informed me that banyans are sometimes called "strangler figs" for the way that they grow around a victim tree and "strangle" it with their roots; and further that, as a fig tree, they are home to fig wasps, which developed symbiotically and co-specialized with fig trees, the fig providing the wasp a place to lay eggs and mate, the wasp pollinating the fig.

Hence the double feature of Strangler Figs and Fig Wasps ... Today, the Fig Wasp:

So there are two varieties of fig wasps, pollinating and non-pollinating (and many species of both). The pollinating fig wasp is pictured above, and has an elongated head with spurs, with which it burrows into the syconium (what will become a fig fruit), where it both deposits pollen in some of the female flowers while laying eggs in others. Non-pollinating fig wasps look more like other wasps, except that their ovipositors are ridiculously long, at least as long as their bodies--these they use to pierce the syconium and deposit eggs within from outside. I'm going to focus on a pollinating species.

Fig Wasps
No. Appearing 3-18
AC 9 (but they can't be hit by weapons--hands can slap them on a body, or squash them in the air)
hp 1
THAC0: 16 (they're small and pretty good at crawling through chinks in armor)
damage: 1-3 as they burrow in
movement: fly 30'

Fig wasps surprise on a 1-3 on a d6, being small and seemingly innocuous. Their attack roll is merely to land; with surprise, they can immediately begin to burrow in, otherwise a character can swat at 1-3 of them on their body before the wasps can act again.

After the wasps have landed on a humanoid, they begin burrowing into flesh using their specialized heads and mandibles. This causes 1-3 damage, partially from the painful sore, partially from the inflammation of the flesh around the sore.

Once inside, the wasp lays its eggs and then dies. At this point, the host character must make a save against poison to avoid a severe allergic reaction as the body responds to the presence of foreign bodies inside itself. Success indicates a mild reaction--itching hives above where the eggs were laid, rather like a nasty chigger-bite; failure indicates severe anaphylaxis: roll on a d6

1) eyes swell shut -- blind for 1-6 turns
2) severe hives -- penalty of -1 on all rolls for 1 day
3) swollen throat -- can't eat for 1-3 days, may grow weaker from hunger
4) ill for 1-3 days -- penalty of -1 on all rolls
5) violently ill for 1-3 days -- may not act other than to rest
6) death in 1-6 turns

A neutralize poison spell will halt the anaphylaxis, but the eggs will remain. A cure disease spell will destroy the eggs and also neutralize the anaphylaxis.

If the eggs are not destroyed, they will incubate for 2-4 weeks, during which time the eggs hatch, the hatched larvae pupate, and at the end of which time adult fig wasps split out of the pupae. The males' only purpose is to fertilize the females and then burrow a way out of the fig for the females to fly away. Unfortunately for the wasps, the females cannot survive in a human or demi-human host, and are ultimately absorbed into the body--BUT the males still burrow their way out, causing 1-20 damage as they do so (they might be burrowing out of an arm or leg, or on the dangerous side, burrowing out through vital organs in the abdomen!).

Expedition to the Shrine of Aesclepius-Apollo

(don't know what was wrong with the format, but I fixed it)

SEEK OUT the shrine of Aesclepius-Apollo, dual deity of HEALING and WISDOM to help Emma Brighteyes sacrifice there and regain her drained level!

In NEED of healing? Add your sacrifice to Aesclepius alongside Emma's and cast off diseases, deadly wounds, terrible curses, or lost levels ... hopefully!

In NEED of an oracle or some kind of insight? Delve into the shrine of Apollo to seek for ancient diviniatory magics!

The Party:
Barnabus Sleet (muscle wizard)
Emma Brighteyes, Sharene, Rakka (the "witchlings", human, Elf, and orc--all Sleet's apprentices)
Dale the Valet (Sleet's fighting-man follower)
Magic Meryl (halfling, former magic-user)
Pitwin Spryneedle (gnome orphan, Meryl's semi-apprentice)
Galahad (newly acquired orc mastiff)
Mario de Parma (fighting-man)
Brutal Pete (insane dwarf)
Fulvia (NPC cleric)
Livia (NPC animal herder)
and two dogs and rather a large number of goats and such headed for the dungeon for sacrifice ...


The party FLAILSNAILED into Sweetwater, a town about a week southwest of my "regular game" set in the city of Calpurnia. To the northwest of Sweetwater, about a week's travel into the wilderness, lay the old shrine of Aesclepius-Apollo, once a pilgrimage destination for those seeking healing or wisdom from the dual Lawful Good deity. Emma had previously been drained of a level of life energy during a delve into the Vaults of Vyzor (when she unwisely wrestled an orc-succubus), and now the party had gathered to help her regain said level in the healing shrine of Aesclepius.

To that end, Emma and company (Sleet, Sharene, Rakka, Dale) acquired the required means for a sacrifice--incense, wine, animals (goats), an offering represented whatever healing was needed, and a Good cleric who could perform the sacrifice properly. They spent the minimum of one thousand gold on it all--more might have guaranteed the favor of the god, but Emma didn't have enough money.

Meanwhile, Magic Meryl was interested in seeking wisdom from Apollo, and heard that if one sacrificed the right animals at his altar, their entrails and livers could be read with the help of certain divination charts and thus answer questions posed to the god. To that end, she acquired several excellent, single-colored goats and then paid a fair amount to copy the local Law cult's divination charts, a certain scroll of Vegoia's Hepotomancy.

The party then bought some of the war dogs ubiquitously for sale along the north-south trade road on which Sweetwater lies, hired Livia to herd their animals, and then set out.

I rolled truncated wilderness encounters--just one per day--and the only thing that molested them on their way out descended on great scalloped wings that overshadowed the road--a dragon! Pretty much everyone ducked for cover as it landed before them, terrible and majestic, but Barnabus strode boldly forward to converse with the worm.

It declared itself to be Ekleriath, and expressed an especial interest in the feast of goats trailing the party. Barnabus bought time by flattering the dragon, which responded by preening and showing off its magnificence; then Barnabus brightly asked if it was strong enough to lift a cow.

Lift a cow? the dragon bellowed. You think I can't, with these huge wings? Ekleriath can lift a cow as well as any roc! With that, the dragon spread its vasts wings, blew up a cloud of dust and took off, circling through the sky looking for cattle, muttering to itself, Lift a cow! Hmmph, I'll show him!

Barnabus then cast invisibility 10' on the party (everyone crammed in close), and they all proceeded invisibly for the remainder of the journey.

The shrine itself is mostly underground, a double shrine with the western half dedicated to Apollo and the eastern to Aesclepius. An above ground temple exists, built in a Greco-Roman style with great columns and a roof, but the place is a ruin--the columns and the roof barely stand. Inside, one finds staircases down, one to the east and one to the west. The party went down the eastern stair first, finding themselves in a chamber with a southern corridor and a stream flowing across it, east to west.

They were wary of the stream, but unnecessarily--though knee deep (Pitwin had to be carried by Mario), the water was otherwise harmless. The corridor led into another chamber with three further exits, with mists rolling lightly from south and east; but the party spied a number of still stone figures in the room, all finely detailed and seemingly caught in a moment of surprise or horror--worried about medusas, the party got out mirrors and continued to the east.

Following the mists east, hoping for hot springs, the party indeed found a large room with a bath fed by hot springs taking up the center. A number of doors stood along the walls--one on the west had scorch marks on the floor around it--and another corridor opened east into a chamber with an idol of a god bearing a snake-twined staff over the altar before him, which was engraved, AEΣΚΛΕΠΙΟΣ.

Fulvia identified this as the altar of Aesclepius and got down to the business of the sacrifice: incense was burned to perfume the idol, wine was poured out (and drunk), goats were sacrificed--their entrails and fat burned on the altar, their thigh meat roasted for everyone to feast on--and hymns were sung to Aesclepius ... the entire rite would take one hour, and because of the noise of it all, I rolled an encounter check for each of the next six turns. Only the third roll turned anything up, and so arrived a woman, beautiful and robed, and followed by five humans--three men and two women.

The lead woman introduced herself as Meledeia ... I fumbled through the dialogue of her trying to ascertain the party, but ultimately she zeroed in on Emma Brighteyes and rubbed up against her seductively, from which Emma lost a point of Wisdom permanently. (meanwhile, Meledeia's followers were happy to partake of the wine, though they weren't much into conversation)

Seeing Emma a bit befuddled, and he being rather protective of his apprentices, Barnabus Sleet stepped in and turned Meledeia around to face him. She wanted to feel up his muscles, but he suggested they go out alone to the other room (reactions roll) ... Oh yes, let's! she answered.

Barnabus had Meledeia stand on one side of the hot spring and told her that he was going to leap into her arms from the other side; but what he was really doing was an Anime Leap Attack, some FLAILSNAILS shenanigans that lets him do excessive damage on an attack from thirty feet away--and he hit Meledeia with a good wallop, and then was a little concerned when I informed him that she'd taken the damage, but was not only not dead, but now shedding half of her human form.

Indeed, the illusion around Meledeia dropped, revealing the lower body of a scorpion topped by her here-to-for attractive female human top. She attacked Sleet with scorpion claws and sting, but wasn't able to pin nor poison him.

Magic Meryl got the drop on the humans and slept the lot of them, and then Mario and Brutal Pete charged out to join the melee against Meledeia. Between that round, a critical hit from Pete, and a winning initiative the next round, the party managed to slaughter poor Meledeia, cutting her fully in half, and she died with a wail, scorpion-half writhing, and then lay still.

Then the sacrifice continued, while Magic Meryl tied up the sleeping followers.

Nothing else bothered the party until the rites were complete, and then Emma had to "incubate" in the healing airs of the hot springs for a while (until the end of the session, I ruled), and so the party briefly looked into the doors around the springs. They found yellow-moldy robes behind some, and behind the scorched door, several chests full of treasure (lots of gold, plus a tafl board and pieces). The treasure also included a suit of mail, which Mario hastily donned, and immediately regretted it as it shrank over his frame, becoming heavy, tight, and awkward.

Everyone then agreed to head to the western shrine to help Magic Meryl find some oracular answers from the wisdom god. They went back up the first stair and then down the western stair, and immediately found a chamber with four exits (N, E, S, and W), and decorated with images of a lyre-playing god, one image of him riddling a sphinx, the other playing for animals.

They went north and found a room with a sphinx statue. At its base was an inscription: "Reaching stiffly for the sky, I bare my fingers when its cold, in warmth I wear an emerald glove, and in between I dress in gold." Tree! Barnabus blurted immediately (and correctly), but nothing happened. The party got a leaf and touched it to the statue, but to no avail.

It's probably some sphinx that got stoned by a medusa here, and then some adventurers carved a riddle into it for fun, Brutal Pete opined.

With a shrug, the group continued. Inside a room that was once a barracks, they found an old chest with a music book inside; then, at the door back to the corridor, they heard voices speaking in orc ...

They agreed to send Rakka out to talk (she's an orc), and when she stepped out, she heard the orc-voices complaining about some Werewolf-Lord taking their loot from their raids as "tribute" and how mad it makes them. There were eight of them, not quite orcs, but with horny, calloused fists and thick hides. Rakka hailed them and talked them into letting her companions help them destroy the werewolves. The orc-things were taken aback by Rakka's comrades, but the ever useful reactions dice suggested helpfulness on the orcs' part, and so they gladly led the party south.

There, they passed through a large chamber with a pipe organ along the west wall, and intrigued, the party stopped to play it. Pete set out the music book and tried to play a song, but he couldn't make sense of the notation (and no yellow mold came out of the wheezing organ, to everyone's relief). Meanwhile, Magic Meryl and Dale positioned themselves in the middle of the room in a good vantage to magic anything coming up the hallways--and lo! from the south came four figures, wondering about the noise of the organ.

That's them! the orc-things hissed, and Meryl and Dale blasted the four oncoming figures with a lightning bolt each. The poor creatures were instantly killed; the man-skins they were wearing split open, and out spilled four cooked and very dead wolves.

Inspecting the chamber whence they'd come, the party found some more loot (a gilded chariot among other things); but the Lord of Werewolves was out, it seemed, so the orcs were cajoled into leading the party to the shrine of Apollo (after a brief confusion that led to the fabled Well of Memory).

This shrine was similar to the one to Aesclepius, except it lacked a hot spring; rather, the ceiling was worked with images of constellations, and the inscriptions on the lyre-holding idol read, AΠΟΛΛΩN

Fulvia again sacrificed some goats, thought it was a much shorter ritual as she only needed to look at their entrails and the lobes of the livers and to cross-reference their appearance with Meryl's copied charts--thus to answer the questions brought by Meryl and Pete.

Asked Meryl, How might I regain the full magical powers I lost when I was reincarnated as a halfling?
And Pete, How might I escape the curse laid on me by the armor and warped soul of Ule Oakenballs, to go mad when I reach my limit of experience as a dwarf?
(the answers to these questions need deeper thought, and I a still mulling them over)

Their goals all met and our time nearly out, the party then set out for Sweetwater once more, not neglecting to collect Emma and to haul out their lucre. Emma rolled a success on regaining her level and her lost Wisdom; six of the eight orc-things agreed to accompany the party back to Vyzor, to avoid the wrath of the Werewolf-Lord; and the party led the erstwhile followers of Meledeia back to town, once they ascertained that they had been her slaves (and they found on the way back, moreover, that these individuals can barely take care of themselves and seem as naive as children and muddled in their thinking--it seems all of them had their Wisdom drained pretty badly).

They went invisibly as before, and managed to avoid any further encounters--though they did note a number of wolves howling in the distance, and coursing their trail (to no avail). Finally back in town, they sold their loot, and set the former slaves up with the local Lawful Good Cult of St. Ursula (founded not long ago by Lailith, a character from my "regular game"), with Pete giving a "bounty" of 500 gold for whichever adventurers are willing to take the five back to the temple to be healed by Aesclepius, while Meryl donated money for their care until then.


All in all, a rather successful expedition ...

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 15

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...

...

and Jaer the Windlord is said to look down on the world below from the Eyries of the Eagles on Greyhame Mountain itself ...

... but for this session, the local Thieves' Guild hired Baby-Face to attempt a heist in the dungeons of Oakridge Castle ...


18 December's roster:
Baby-Face (thief 5)
with Frita (hireling) and Whesker and Wilmerand (giant weasels)
Finbar (half-Elf druid 4)
with Heisenberg (charmed wolf)
Aethelfwulf (paladin 2)
with Hauka (giant weasel)
Blackleaf (Elf 2)
with Johann Haybaler (hireling)
Koko (woman-ape 1)
Aria (Elf 1)
with Kaaraak (eagle)
Lead (cleric 3)


Baby-Face's local Thieves' Guild contact is Jaybird Jenny--I'm afraid I haven't actually told this to the players directly yet, because I almost always forget one or two things I mean to bring to the table each session, alas.

Anyway, Jabybird Jenny approached Baby-Face with a job offer: We have information about a secret entrance into the dungeons beneath Oakridge Castle, she said, and more than that we have a target. Word is that Morholt-Lord has turned to the secret worship of Chaos in the dungeons beneath the castle, and that there is a secret treasury near the shrine ... and we've heard that an item in the cache there is a rare glass serpent, for which we have a buyer, if only we can get someone brave (foolhardy) enough to sneak into the castle ... anything else you steal is yours to fence as you can, of course ...

Naturally, the party was for it, and not just because of the potential payout, but also because they hoped to free Rendorsheeg (Elf 2) who has been locked up in the dungeon for seven weeks, pending his payment of a large fine of 4000 gp after getting into serious trouble with the law while carousing--trouble like slandering Morholt, who's a bit touchy given his precarious position as lord of the demesne.

Preparation-wise, the party did several things. Baby-Face bought a bottle of Mead of Poetry from the local market, as well as 4 sprigs of wolfsbane (with the idea of poisoning folks in the castle); Finbar went into the nearby wilderness looking for poisonous plants with the same idea as Baby-Face, and found some deadly nightshade. The party gathered information about Morholt and learned that he loves to go hunting and is often riding out after game; but that this week, Morholt was planning on holding a feast (hence the poison idea). They were also reminded that Morholt is a usurper, and that he holds prisoner the widow of the former lord (Lady Sonora, widow of Albrecht III.), hoping to acquire a love potion with which to force her to marry him and thus legitimize his claim to the local lordship.

Now, the Thieves' Guild described a particular gully to the north of Oakridge Castle wherein a secret door was to be found, and the party set out in the night to seek this entrance. The moon shone, but somewhat obscured by clouds, and the guards on the castle walls did not see them ... but the party did note that the stars sing, a strange, faint, sad and nostalgic song. It is in no language that any speak, but the Elves in the party recognized vaguely Elvish phrasings in the eerie star-song. This has been going on for about two weeks now, and is a new development that nobody in town can say anything about ...

Anyway, a secret door was found at the end of the gully which led into a dead-end corridor; this corridor contained a further secret door at its end, which opened onto a room with stairs leading up into the castle, and two doors. The party went for the western door and found a long south-leading corridor with one western door. Listening at the door, they heard conversation of bored guards, and opted to follow the corridor south.

Ultimately, the corridor turned east, then north, but as the party headed north, I rolled a wandering encounter. Three guards--a sergeant and two underlings--came around the corner from the north. Finbar cast charm person or animal on the sergeant and he failed badly, and so charmedly greeted Finbar as a friend. Some fast talking and showing off of many wineskins by Blackleaf led the sergeant to note, I forgot about the wine shipment for the feast in four days, but you're clearly it. Here, let me show you to the wine cellar. Despite the strange looks from his underlings, the sergeant then showed the party through to the wine cellar (well stocked with barrels of wine and beer and fine bottled wines). They talked to him about the possibility of freeing a prisoner, but ultimately he had a task in the dungeon that he had been distracted from.

When the party felt they had used this poor fellow to the best they could, Baby-Face attempted to backstab him and failed; and before anything further could occur, Blackleaf slept the three. Baby-Face then poured some whiskey over the guards and left an empty whiskey-bottle with them, intending to frame them as drunks ...

Further exploration revealed a series of tombs of the former lords of the castle; Aethelwulf tried in vain to prevent their looting, but the rest of the party ignored him. They then went through an eastern door and found a shrine to a Chaotic god with a huge grin and torture implements, containing four Hieronymus Bosch-type tapestries depicting chaos and torture. Here, Aethelwulf toppled the clearly Chaotic and Evil idol, and then the party headed back out to the corridor and ultimately to the west, where they'd heard the guard-muttering.

Lead "disguised" himself with the armor of the sleeping sergeant, and while the party waited around a corner, he alone went into the room whence the voices came--and found eight guards playing cards around a table. He attempted some fast talking about being a new guard-captain, but when he dropped his name, Lead, the guards recognized him as the companion of Baby-Face, who had insulted Morholt and Morholt's son while carousing, and the guards drew their weapons.

Lead retreated to the door and called for help.

A chaotic melee ensued as the rest of the party came up to join the battle. Lead held the door, whacking guards with his warhammer while the rest of the party did what they could from behind or muscled in around Lead and against the guards to enter the melee. Aethelwulf decapitated one; Baby-Face's weasels humped into the room and killed another; Koko the woman-ape broke the neck of yet another guard; and the rest were killed by arrows from Blackleaf and Aria and a variety of melee attacks.

Off of this guard post, the party found two different sets of cells; the first contained a group of 12 men-at-arms and 3 former-officers, all men loyal to Albrecht III. and imprisoned by Morholt, grateful to be released and sent out of the dungeon; the second set of cells included Rendorsheeg and a number of other bums, drunks, and local criminals, again set free by the party.

The party then returned to seeking the secret treasury of the Chaos shrine and the rumored glass serpent, but going to the eastern section of the dungeon, they found only another number of tombs of the old lords, including the recently created tomb of Albrecht III. Alas, our time was running out, and in our last ten minutes, the party agreed to return to town (and the castle only looks over the town, not even a day away). In their frustration, they at least looted the shrine of its tapestries and made out with 200 gp worth of tapestries for the lot of them.

No wandering guards molested them on the way out ... so back in town, Finbar and Rendorsheeg both elected to carouse ... and Rendorsheeg rolled the very same mishap as last time, "major misunderstanding with the law," that originally landed him in jail! But as an escaped fugitive, this is clearly no mere fine, but a search by Morholt's mercenaries for escaped prisoners!

And so next session will involve some kind of trouble with the law to be played out in-game ... There will be a reckoning ...

------

Remembrance for the Fallen
Arrow (pack dog), Freyja (normal woman), Nameless Dog (1 hp cur), Hot Dog (mastiff), Cross (mastiff), Orion II (lion dog), Bacon (boar hound), Tore (half-orc fighter 1/cleric 1), Jimmy the Snitch (dog), Orion (lion dog), Harambe (man-ape 1)

And for those Enchanted Away
Dol (fyrdman hireling)

Greyhame: Twenty Questions

I saw this post over at Coins and Scrolls, about 20 questions for his game, which was of course piggy-backing off of Jeff Rients' "20 quick questions for your campaign" posted several years ago. So naturally, I thought I'd give it a go for the Greyhame Mountain Dungeon game.


1. What is the deal with my cleric's religion?

You tell me--whom do you worship? What alignment are you?

2. Where can we go to buy standard equipment?

Page B12 of the D&D Basic Rulebook, or a handout that I have printed. If anything is locally of a different cost or unavailable, I'll tell you

3. Where can we go to get plate armor custom-fitted for this monster I just befriended?

That custom armor will cost twice or more the usual cost in gold, plus a week or more in labor at any smithy/armorer's shop. I'll adjust cost and time according to what seems reasonable.

4. Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?

Axxl the Mask or Morla of the Mists (an undecided contest between equals ...); but they're semi-local--there are probably more powerful wizards further afield--and there's almost certainly an Elf-Queen of tremendous power in the Dwimmerholt forest to the east, but good luck finding her

5. Who is the greatest warrior in the land?

Locally, Morholt, usurper and current overlord of Brakeridge and the surround; he has a castle full of mercenaries loyal to him, and is seeking a love potion wherewith to overwhelm the resistance of the former lord's widow to marrying him.

6. Who is the richest person in the land?

Dusty Tam, a merchant-lord in the northern freetown of Bardastead. His epithet used to be "the Dusty" because he was always on the road, making money trading north and south along the trade road, but now that he's old, fat, and rich, obviously his "dust" is now gold-dust. He lends credit to several of the lords around here, probably including Morholt, definitely including Vialar, the king.

7. Where can we go to get some magical healing?

Normally I'd say, "To your friendly party-cleric, otherwise nowhere," but around Greyhame, folks have the advantage that Lailith, a Lawful Good cleric of high level, has recently set up a shrine in town. She is a player character; she represents what PCs are ultimately capable of at higher levels, and is also a personality with her own motives in allowing/disallowing magical healing on her part.

8. Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?

Again, Lailith at her shrine--according to her own prices (e.g. raise dead she's willing to do for 300 gp, whereas I'd charge 5000 gp at any other shrine as referee ...); as for alignment change, each character would have to take that up according to their particular alignment and the nearest competent figurehead of such, which I would have to write up ...

9. Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join to get more spells?

No, sorry. MUs are jealous of their spells, books, lore, and powers. You might manage to apprentice yourself to a higher level fellow for the price of demeaning tasks ...

10. Where can I find an alchemist, sage, or expert NPC?

Axxl the Mask and Morla of the Mists double as alchemists/sages as well. Other experts can be hired in larger towns, north or south a few days' travel.

11. Where can I hire mercenaries?

2-7 are available for hire every session, plus 2-5 war dogs for sale. These are at local taverns, caravanserais, fighting pits, etc. In Brakeridge, they congregate at John's Place

12. Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed, or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?

Back in highschool, in the Carolinian Empire, I would have characters secure their carried weapons with "peace bonds" that prevented their being drawn. But the Carolinian Empire is far to the west. As for magic--don't be a dick. Egregious charm person spells will probably elicit a bad reaction from townsfolk, but the occasional sorcery is not illegal

13. Which way to the nearest tavern?

Every town has one. The Black Dragon's Meed is rumored the best new tavern in Brakeridge.

14. What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?

First, the Orcs in the Glimmervaults.
Second, the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves under the Howling Tower
Third, Morholt, current lord over the local area, ruling oppressively from Oakridge Castle.
Fourth, Vialar the Cruel, supposed king over all these lands.

15. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?

Not at the moment. Besides, wars are more fun when you're higher level (and you're instigating them).

16. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?

Not in these parts; mostly, one goes into dungeons for glory and gold. In some parts of the world, though, the Mourners do hold gladiatorial games ...

17. Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?

Sure! The Evil cult might be one. There's probably a thieves' guild. Maybe even assassins. Probably other secret societies--but they're secret. Ask around (discretely!)

18. What is there to eat around here?

5 gold buys you 7 days of rations. I've never yet met an adventurer ostentatious enough to spend gold on anything fancier food-wise

19. Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?

The Red and the Black Crowns of the Getae
The White Crown of the Brondings
The Sword-That-Was-Broken
The secret treasuries of the Brondings behind the Brokenbrand Falls
Tales also tell of old shrines to Chaos deep in the Glimmervaults, filled both with undeath and treasure

20. Where is the nearest dragon, or other monster with H type treasure?

There may be a dragon down in the depths of the Glimmervaults; also, there's old rumor of some kind of ancient king interred with his excessive wealth high on the mountain behind the Brokenbrand Falls, but who awoke from death into undeath (not the Bronding kings, but an older king, perhaps from before even Thidrek's time and the wars of the Getae)

Greyhame Mountain Dungeon Expedition 14

Orcs have returned to the caverns of the Glimmervaults;
the Goblin King and the Lord of Werewolves have renewed their ancient alliance beneath the Howling Tower;
and the secret treasury of the ancient Bronding Kings is said to lie somewhere behind the Brokenbrand Falls, haunted by enchanting naiads ...

...

and Jaer the Windlord is said to look down on the world below from the Eyries of the Eagles on Greyhame Mountain itself ...


10 December's roster:
Kord (half-orc fighter 2/cleric 2)
with Ham, Livy, and Lysimmachus (normal men)
and Arrow, Orkie, and Fang (dogs)
Finbar (half-Elf druid 3)
with Dorcas (normal woman)
and Walter and Heisenberg (wolves) and Cornelius and Rub-a-Dub (dogs)


This expedition started with Kord alone in town preparing himself for an expedition to the Greyhame Mountain. Alas, during Expedition 13, Kord's former hireling Freyja was killed by the venom of a viper on the way back to Brakeridge, and so this session started with Kord's attempt to have Freyja raised from the dead by Lailith at the shrine of St. Ursula--but Freyja's spirit had passed on forever beyond the pale, and she could not be returned to life.

After that, Kord paid 100 gold to raise an idol of his god, Kord, the Chaotic Good god of strength, and for his money, got a well-carved image with a little altar for offerings at his feet, placed in the village square somewhere nearby the image of Adonai earlier raised there by Aethulwulf.

He then turned to hiring and outfitting an expedition, taking on the services of Ham once more, and then additionally hiring and equipping Livy and Lysimmachus from John's Place. He also bought a number of dogs, including an orc mastiff, promptly named Orkie.

All ready, he and his crew set out for the Howling Tower (which howls no longer). As he and his party moved through the wilderness toward the Greyhame Mountain, they found that under the light of the stars there came from on high a faint sound of singing--a wordless or alien song, softly coming down from the winds that blow about the stars, filled with a sense of loss, of sadness, and of yearning for home. This thing seems some new development--it has not been heard by any other expedition yet.

Other than the eldritch star-song, Kord and his crew broke a spear on the second night when trying to move a log out of their way; and then on the third day out, they were ambushed by goblins, and lost a shield, a week of rations, 12 arrows, a handaxe, and damage to both Kord and Ham, both injuries healed by Kord after the goblins were driven away.

And on the next day, the party arrived atop the spur whereon stands the Howling Tower. The pyre containing Begor's remains had been blown over by the storms that roll through the area, and not rebuilt; Kord picked through it, but found nothing other than blackened weather-beaten wood and bones. The party then entered the tower and made their way north and then west through a series of rooms, seeking the stairs down. They saw bloodstains on the floor from the last time Kord had entered the tower, and then at a further door, heard the noise of goblins chattering on the other side.

It was here that Finbar joined the party, and he gamely agreed to Kord's plan to throw open the door and attack the goblins. They threw the door open quietly (using my door rules) and managed to surprise the nine goblins in the chamber--these goblins were sitting around a fire, roasting rats on sticks and gossiping--and on their surprise round, the party sicced their dogs on the hapless creatures. Goblins died, and the rest surrendered, and Kord and Finbar both knowing the Goblin tongue, pressed them for information about the Goblin King.

Unfortunately, they didn't get much specific info--the Goblin King dwells in the dungeons below the tower, he lives in darkness and has shadows and magic at the beck of his fingertips, he is tall and a powerful fighter like an Elf-lord, and he has the allegiance of all the free goblins escaped from servitude under the Elves in the Dwimmerholt.

After hearing this panegyric, the party sicced the dogs on the goblins again, and the poor wretches got slaughtered by canine tooth and claw.

The party then continued south and found the stairs down, but behind them, they heard the chattering of apes from the hall beyond--around the corner came Okok the ape king, with two rock baboons. They were come to poke their heads into the goblin room, curious at the noise, and they recognized Finbar and exchanged some words with him (Finbar himself knowing the language of Apes). I do not care for the goblins and wolves that live below, Okok explained to Finbar in return to a question about the goblins. I do not go down there; they do not come up to my domain; and as for the Goblin-King, I know his reputation, but little more. Finbar gave Okok a holy water, calling it "magic water" and Okok drank it off promptly. It does not taste magic, he averred. Then Finbar re-explained that it was for use against evil spirits, and gave him another flask; and then Okok and his baboons went into the goblin-room to scavenge the bodies while the party headed down the stairs.

Below, they found a hallway that T's north and south with a number of doors, and a figure at the end of the southern branch. The figure proved to be a marble statue like the Venus de Milo, except depicting an Elf-queen, and badly graffitied in Goblin ("Ass-tora" instead of Astora, "Suck my nose!", etc.). A former expedition had carried off her head and arms ... Checking the doors, the party found at first an empty tomb; at the next door, they heard bones cracking beyond, and throwing open the door, they surprised a pair of pallid, gaunt humanoids chowing down on old bones. The dogs made short work of them--literally a single surprise round--and then the party found a cache of silver in one of the sarcophagi.

Continuing on, the party found another empty tomb, and then headed through a west door and surprised two insectoid horrors feeding on a paralyzed goblin. These horrors had segmented bodies and heads with a gaggle of writhing tentacles. The dogs were sent in once again, and one of the horrors was killed outright, but the other managed to touch two dogs attacking it with its tentacles, and both dogs locked up in paralytic rigor. But the rest of the pack closed in and slaughtered the thing; and after twenty minutes, the paralyzed dogs returned to full movement (whimpering as blood flowed again through their limbs).

This chamber contained an altar topped by a multi-armed goddess idol, and as the party search the altar and idol, they discovered a secret cache of electrum behind a false stone on the altar.

A doorway to the southwest out of the chamber led into a kind of corridor with burial niches all along its south wall. The party searched these; in the westmost they found a tunnel that seemed to lead up and out; in the center niche, they found a secret door that opened onto a narrow hallway to the south. Going single file through this hall, they discovered a small secret room with a larger idol of the multi-armed goddess, bedecked with glittering jewelry and surrounded at her feet with a hoard of gleaming gold. But they noted that as they moved toward the room, their light became dimmer and paler, and then when they entered the room, the shadows seemed to come alive at their feet and dance and waver, and two shadows animated and began to attack them.

Attempts to turn these animated shades by Kord had no effect; Finbar hurled holy water at one, and it too had no effect; weapons thrust into the shadows seemed just to slide through the oily darkness without causing any damage; and the few attacks against these things with torches all completely missed. As for the shadows, when they struck Finbar and Livy, they did damage with the coldness of their touch, but also seemed to sap something of the strength of the one touched.

Unable to do anything to these creatures, the party fled headlong without any of the gold or jewelry. Time was running short for the session, so they elected to exit the dungeon ... but as they climbed the stars back to the first tower level, they were surprised by a gaggle of goblins at the top of the stairs, who threw torches down to light a pool of oil on the stairs. The first rank, all dogs, was lit up, killing poor Arrow; meanwhile, two ranks of goblins hurled missiles at the party, knocking Livy out with a lucky sling bullet.

The party then sicced the dogs on the goblins and charged up the stairs, and they slammed into the goblins with a vengeance (though Dorcas passed out from heat damage from the still-burning fires as she charged through). As the first goblins dropped, the rest panicked and routed, their retreat semi-covered by their wolf-companions that elected to go with the goblins rather than continue the battle. Kord and his crew cut down about half of the fleeing goblins while Finbar cast animal friendship on one of the wolves and successfully entranced it ... with the goblins all gone, the party had to wait for 6 turns (3 wandering monster checks) until Finbar's spell was finished, but fortunately they were not disturbed, and they managed to get out of the tower without further ado.

On the way back to town, a group of wolves attacked on the first night, but were driven off with a broken axe, shield, lost rations, and some damage to Kord. Then, on the third day, right before getting back to town, a nasty storm blew in and the party lost a shield, spear, rations, leather armor, and 50' of rope.

Then they were back in Brakeridge, and Finbar was eager to carouse--and failing his save, spent an additional 900 gold on a huge gambling binge. Meanwhile, Kord paid out huge amounts of gold to Ham the normal man, trying to get him enough xp to get him an actual class level; with the addition of Ham carousing with his newfound wealth, he managed to garner the 1000 xp I wanted him to earn before becoming a full-fledged character, and he is now a level 1 cleric with 300 or so xp (I've never done 0-level characters before, this was me making things up on the fly!). Alas, in drinking himself to wine-madness, Ham also managed to earn the enmity of the local Thieves' Guild, and will now have to weather vendetta from them ...

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Remembrance for the Fallen
Arrow (pack dog), Freyja (normal woman), Nameless Dog (1 hp cur), Hot Dog (mastiff), Cross (mastiff), Orion II (lion dog), Bacon (boar hound), Tore (half-orc fighter 1/cleric 1), Jimmy the Snitch (dog), Orion (lion dog), Harambe (man-ape 1)

And for those Enchanted Away
Dol (fyrdman hireling)

Play Report from Jeff Rients' Vaults of Vyzor 3

Got another chance to play in Jeff's game in the Vaults of Vyzor on 8 December. I suggested I could play another character than Laurantha if we wanted to avoid the geas to enter the Azure Vaults, which suggestion was endorsed, and so I rolled up a level 1 cleric, Kat Eumeleia, devotee of the Cult of the Beautiful Life ...

------

Down at the (newly rebuilt Drooling Thoul?), Kat Eumeleia, newly arrived cleric following the Star Goddess, was seen carousing raucously with several orc floozies after her first expeditions into the Citrine and Verdant Vaults. Over the course of the night, she composed this pastiche of one of the religious hymns of her cults, singing it as well as she could without the advantage of autotuning magic (this is written to fit generally into the melody of Kesha's song “Rainbow”):

'Descended down into Citrine halls
looking for an orc brothel
and once there
couldn't help but stare
Walls covered with red velvet drapes
orc ladies with the leering faces
we had no coin
but I brought some wine

Trading swigs with the orcs, we
made some friends as we partied
with our charms,
won over even the madame!
Learned that not all there were happy
working girls, they were trapped, yeah,
so we brought them all
out of that brothel

We had a party
down in the dungeon, yeah!
With hard-A
drinking wine and dancin'
So seize your freedom now, girls
And come and dance away from here
tonight

Yes, Mario had some fun
with a couple of orcish doms
while they played
we had it made
And Emma found an Elf-lass
hiding back in the darkness
we sang, “Come on, girl,
come out to the world ...”

Saved them all from the darkness,
from a world cold and heartless
but back in the brothel
with dominatrixes from Hell
When Mario had ended,
they found the brothel abandoned
they sprouted horns!
demonic in form!

We had a party
down in the dungeon, yeah!
With hard-A
drinking wine and dancin'
So seize your freedom now, girls
And come and dance away from here
tonight

Emma sprang on one orcubus,
wrestling hard that seductress,
got an evil kiss
that left her listless
Yeah, our swords had no power
to defy them in that hour
so we fled
rather than end up dead!

We had a party
down in the dungeon, yeah!
With hard-A
drinking wine and dancin'
So seize your freedom now, girls
And come and dance away from here
tonight ...'

Asked by other patrons concerning further recollections of her expeditions into the vaults accompanying one Emma Brighteyes of the Jarrod Memorial Library and fighting-man Mario de Parma, she had more prosaic things to say:

'Yeah, we had a couple of gnome lasses with us--Babis was one, I don't remember the other's name--hired by Mario on his promise that they could get some orc-stabbing revenge down there. They weren't really sure what to make of the brothel, but don't worry; when Mario went off with those girls that ended up being orcubi, I took the gnomes under my wing and gave them some wine to take the edge off. But when those demon-babes revealed themselves, the poor gnomes almost got left behind in our haste to retreat. Only Emma's cool under duress allowed her to duck in and drag the two out under the demons' claws …

'Well, after we got out of the Citrine Vaults--and only barely ahead of the demons!--there was no way in Hell we were going back for the treasure we left behind. So we decided to try the Verdant Vaults--apparently some local Elf-chick here has some kind of a thing for bees, and there were supposed to be bees down in the Verdant Vaults ...

'And sure enough, we found them, and Emma used that Elf-chick's spell to charm the bees. We then used them to help us battle a few orcs fully intent on impaling a few helpless gnomes in some huge chamber that Emma said used to be a gnome-wrestling arena. The gnome lasses got their vengeance here--you can't imagine the glee with which they chopped off all six pairs of hands of the orcs we killed …'

Beyond this point, Kat, continuing to drink her wine, became semi-incomprehensible. She drunkenly proselytized the cult of the Star Goddess to the local women, going on about something called “the Beautiful Life” without explaining much … and then was later seen partying hard with Hilda, wife of Heinrik Gem-Eyes, alternately downing shots and goblets of wine, and then engaging in deep, seductive, philosophical conversations …

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Kat Eumeleia was rolled up using Jeff's "Insano-Libs Cleric Advancement" rules ... she almost advanced to level 2 during this last session, but alas, not quite. Naturally, with her being a cleric follower of Ke$ha, I will have more to say about the Cult of the Beautiful Life as time goes by ...